Angel
by silentnc
Summary: TEMP HIATUS. Set after Host ends. Wanda and the rest continue their adventures. M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I am so excited about the possibility of more of anything from Stephenie Meyer, and since I have read everything she has put out at least twice, I thought I would have some fun with her stories. I am in no way comparing myself with her, just wishing she could write faster._

_Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the awesome Stephenie Meyer *bows*_

I lazily stretched in my bed underneath Ian's arm which laid like dead weight across my waist. My stirrings did not wake him as I knew they wouldn't. I took the opportunity to gaze at him, and softy ran my petite fingers across his cheek. He truly was the sweetest human I had ever met, gentle enough to be a soul. I couldn't help but smile.

I heard the noises stir up outside our door as everyone was making their way from their rooms to the kitchen area for their breakfast. Kyle's unmistakable voice was audible just a few feet from the door. "Rise and shine," he howled, meant for Ian. He followed with a quick rap on our door as he passed. Ian stirred, and then tighten his arm around me and he slowly began to pull himself from his slumber. I curled into his chest, not ready to give up our embrace. He kissed the top of my head softly. "Sleep ok?" he asked. "Mm hmm" I mumbled into his chest. Regrettably, he raised himself up and stretched his lengthy body at the foot of our bed. I followed, and as I stood he pulled me to him again and crushed me there. After a long minute in his arms and no words spoken, he grasped my hand and led me out of the room.

We walked hand and hand and followed the scent of cinammon rolls into the kitchen. Jamie sat with a space reserved next to him, mine. I could only guess that he spent most of his nights coming up with new questions for me, because every morning he pelted them at me relentlessly. I was sure that everyone was tired of my voice, it was more squeaky now in this body. But anytime I stopped someone usually followed up with another question, practically turning mornings into my first lesson of the day, as the one after dinner was still ongoing.

After breakfast, Ian led me to wash room where we got ready to take our trip. There was another outing needed, mainly for medications. And although they proved easy enough for humans to get to without my assistance, I was yet to be left behind on a outing. I didn't mind it at all, I felt it was the most I could do to contribute to our small community. Most, especially Ian, were still reluctant to let me help with the normal chores.

This would be a shorter trip, maybe only last a couple of days. I looked forward to being outside again. This would be our first trip out since the raining had ended. The rain had holed us up for months, and even on trips it kept us in hotels and the vehicles constantly. I was looking forward to the sunshine on my face again. Pet had enjoyed that too.

I ran into Ian in the dark on my way out of the wash room. He had barely spoken a word since he had asked about my night. "Sorry Wanda!" he said as his hands instinctively went around my waist to catch me in case of a fall caused by his bump. "I'm fine" I breathed as I steadied myself against him. We walked out together and back towards our room. He was silent again, glancing occasionally between me and our path. "Everything ok?" I asked, trying to catch his eye. "Yeah," he said, but not convincingly. "You know how I am about you going out, Wanda." He smiling apologetically at me. He was worried, of course. Should have known. I smiled, "Will you ever get used to the fact that I will be alright? I have actually done this quite a bit now." He half-grinned at me again, not answering. Something more seemed to be nagging at him. I snaked my child-like arms around his waist and leaned my head against him as we rounded into our room. After we swung in and he grabbed the door behind us, he twirled me into him and grasped my face between his large hands. His stare melted me, lava pouring through me as he reached down to gently kiss me.

Ian had not pressured me at all since our move back into our rooms a month ago. During the nagging rainy months, I has wished fervently for privacy with him. Our chaste kisses every night left me burning for more. But the night we returned to our rooms, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I suddenly realized that I would be expected to perform an act of love, one I had no experience with. I was now terrified of giving myself to him. But the first night in "our" room, he just pulled me into arms as he had every other night in rec room until we both drifted to sleep.

His lips finally parted from mine. "The answer is no," he said, finding and holding my gaze. "I will never get used to you putting yourself in harm's way. Risking your life every time we go out." I stared back at him. "It has to be done, and its what I have to offer," I said, squeezing my arms around him. "And you will be with me, and I know you won't let anything happen to me." I smiled, because I knew it was the truth. I saw an inch of tension ease from him, but he still held me close. "Of course," he whispered, lowering his lips to mine again. The kiss pulled me further into him, if it was possible. My hands slowly raked down to the small of his back without my permission, sending a slight shudder down his spine. It was times like this I wondered what I was so afraid off.

"Oh! Geez.. sorry guys" I turned to see Mel, backing out the doorway, eyes suddenly glued to the floor. Ian released me, a cheesy grin on his face. "No problem Mel, we were just on our way to find you."

"Righttttt." Mel smirked.

_Let me know if its alright. Please be nice, its my first attempt and I decided to wing it without a beta. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2 Into the wild

Jamie's laughter carried down the cave's lengthy pathway and reached my ears. As we got closer, I could see him waiting by the exit of the cave system with Melanie, Jared, Lily and Trudy. Jamie was sitting across from Lily with both of his hands on her stomach.

"Wow, its so strong!" he smiled wide, waiting for another movement. Lily was smiling at him, her pregnant belly barely contained in her shirt, leaning against the wall. As we got closer, she glanced up at me and her smile faded just a bit.

Jamie noticed her look away and was on his feet. He closed the remaining distance between us with a short run and threw his arms around me. "I wanted to see you all off," he grinned at me from a few inches above. I still could not get used to him being taller than me, but I would have to, because he just kept growing. He was already eye to eye with Mel. "Thanks, Jamie" I said as I let him go. "We shouldn't be gone long though." I pushed his silky hair from his eyes, it was a habit of Melanie's I had kept. He smiled then walked over to give Mel and Jared their goodbyes, and I walked up to Lily where she sat next to Trudy and sat on her other side.

"Doc says maybe another three weeks" she glanced at me, thoughtlessly smoothing her stomach with her caramel hands, trying to keep the worry from her face. "We will be back by then, don't worry" I told her, and patted her hand, then gave it a quick squeeze. She did her best to give me a warm smile and started struggling to stand up. Ian was at her side in a flash with assistance, pulling her to her feet. She straightened out, softy wished us luck and started back down into the caves with Trudy's arm around her shoulders, Jamie walking a few paces behind. He turned to wave to us one last time.

"Lets get moving" Jared annouced, offically in mission mode. Ian nodded, and the four of us started out into the dusk. The sun was sliding behind the mountains with only pink and purple rays leaking into sky. Mel and Jared walked hand in hand in front of Ian and I. Ian's hand was lightly touching the small of my back, making that the warmest spot of my body. Anytime I looked up at him, he was looking back. There was just light enough that I could see the blue in his eyes still, and they burned into mine. I looked back down, and thoughts of our long overdue intimacy flooded my mind. We weren't going anywhere that would make a hotel necessary, but I wondered if I could suggest it without being too obvious. I looked up at Ian again. Yes, a suggestion couldn't hurt.

We were only about 10 minutes from the Jeep when Mel teasingly shoved Jared and then took off running. Jared stumbled for only a milisecond before taking off behind her. Ian and I laughed as he closed the space between them and then took her down in one motion, pinning her to the ground and holding her there for a moment gloating. In the excitement of the playfulness, I had stopped paying attention to where I was walking, a big mistake in the dark desert, and stumbled into a bush. Pain seared through me and I jerked back violently, which made me fall to the ground into another prickily plant. As pain shot through my right leg and left shoulder blade, a girlish scream finally found its way out of my mouth. Ian was instantly at my side trying to find the best way to move me without causing more pain, his voice trying to calm me and himself at the same time. He slid his hands underneath my lower back and eased me into his arms. Jared and Mel ran to his side.

"Wanda, what happened?" Mel asked panicky, trying to look me over.

"I wasn't paying attention" I winced, mostly from pain, but now also from embarassment.

"You have some needles from the bush still in your skin" Jared said, examining my leg which was the closest to him.

"We need to take you back" Ian frowned, worry all over his beautiful face. "You're covered."

"No, no, we need to go. Lily can't wait. I'll be fine," I said, trying to sound brave, but a few tears escaped and rolled down my face, blowing my cover.

"Don't be silly Wanda," Ian started, but Jared interrupted him. "No, Ian, she's right. We have supplies in the Jeep to take care of this, and we need to head out tonight."

Ian stared at me, conflicted. I gave the best smile I could muster up. "I'll be ok, just get me to the Jeep." My attempt to stay calm was fleeting, the pain was still clawing up my leg and down my back. Finally Ian started toward the Jeep, trying to keep from jostling me. Jared and Mel ran ahead to get things ready.

Despite my best effort I glanced down at my leg, and the sight of it was awful. I looked away to keep my head, the gore of it all was stomach turning. I was glad I couldn't see my back, because I could tell it was worse. I tried to concentrate on Ian, on his snowy face contrasted by the dark of nightfall, but he wore a grimace that wouldn't distract me. He kept muttering things under his breath like "This is exactly why you shouldn't be out" and "I knew better than this" or "I can't believe I let this happen."

When we arrived at the Jeep Mel and Jared where sorting through the medical supplies with flashlights, pulling out what they thought I needed. Ian carefully sat me down outside of the Jeep's cover and moved behind me. I heard him gasp as he looked at my back. "I'll be fine in a minute Ian," I tried to comfort him. He didn't make another sound behind me.

Mel walked over to me and handed me the No Pain. I laid a strip on my tongue and felt the pain disappear from my body and then let out a sigh of relief. She walked around to were Ian was and let out a small gasp as well.

"Wow, you did this up good Wanda. Looks like a cholla got your back." The image of the thick tan needles flashed into my mind and made me wince, but the No Pain kept me level. She moved back around to my leg as Jared arrived with the rest of the supplies. She carefully removed the needles, mainly located in the shin and knee of my right leg, as I felt Ian tugging at the thicker needles in my back. Jared handed me the Inside Clean which I inhaled as Mel sprayed the Outside Clean on my leg. As Mel was spraying, the bottle suddenedly pumped little more than air at my leg. She shook it and tried again, but this time nothing came out. She looked up at me and took a backwards breath through her teeth. "Sorry, this seems to be the last of this." I felt Ian freeze his movements. "But I think your leg is good."

"Thats fine," I said, trying to reassure them. "We will have more soon, and I got the Inside Clean, we can just finish it up later." I saw Mel look behind me at Ian. She went back to work with the Heal, Seal and Smooth, and I finally felt Ian pull out the remaining needles from my back. Once they finished I stood, feeling great, and turned to smile at Ian. He was still frowning.

"Hey, don't worry," I said and rubbed my hands up and down the outside of his arms, "We will finish it later. I will be fine for now."

"I know," he grimaced, "I just hate seeing it at all, and now we can't even close it up yet." I couldn't help but smile, he was so overprotective and sweet, and I loved him. I locked my eyes with his and reached up on my toes, but I was no where near close enough to kiss him, so I waited for him to close the distance. He hesitated, concern still etched across his face, but bent down to press his lips to mine. And maybe it was the No Pain, or just that gut need that I was so terrified of, but I suddenly found my hands wonder up and around his neck locking myself to him. He responded, slidding his hands down my ribs and resting them on my hips, then pulling me into him. I caught his lower lip between mine and pulled on it gently, which made a throaty noise escape him as he tighten his grip on my hips.

"Hey Wanda, I found another shirt for you to wear" Mel said from behind me. I lowered myself from my tiptoes, still looking into Ian's eyes, which now looked more black than blue. He exhaled loudly and said "Thats twice today, Mel."


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: These characters belong to awesome Stephenie Meyer._

Ian sat next to me silently in the back of the van. Jared was driving with Mel riding shot gun. She would occasionally turn and say something to me, but everyone had been quiet for the last hour or better. It usually was quiet when just the four of us went out. Jared was always focused on the current mission, and Ian was thoughtfull, probably dreaming up ways I could hurt myself so he could figure out how to prevent it from happening. And although I had broke my new body of most of its debilitating shyness, I still couldn't find it in me to make conversation in these types of situations. Mel was always the one who got any conversations going, if any were had.

"Need any more No Pain yet, Wanda?" She glanced back at me. I noticed Ian's head turn towards me as well.

"No, I still don't feel anything." I grinned, trying to reassure them.

Ian leaned back out of his tensed hunch and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into his side. He started pulling strands of my hair softly through his fingers.

I heard Mel crinkle the map up front. "Only about 35 more miles now." I saw Jared nod.

I glanced out the windows in the front of the van. The sun was still fairly high in the sky. If we were only a few miles out, we would have time to kill before we could make our raid. No way we would add the unnecessary risk of taking supplies in the middle of the day. I nuzzled my head into Ian's chest, who then rested his chin on top of my head, and closed my eyes.

It seemed like my eyes had barely been shut when I felt someone shake my leg.

"Wanda, Ian, wake up" Mel shook us again. My eyes darted open. The sun was setting and had painted the interior of the van a beautiful glowing orange. Across the parking lot I noticed a small deli.

"Lets get something to eat" she said. I nodded, trying to shake the sleep from my head. I looked over to see Ian, sitting up, but his eyes still closed. I took his face between my small hands.

"Ian. Ian. Wake up." His eyes fluttered. "What do you want to eat?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders. Waking Ian was impossible. I twisted in his embrace and put my mouth close to his ear.

"Ian," I said in a voice a little louder than a whisper, "Wake up. I am going into this deli here, and I need to know what you want." I heard him hum "I don't know" in his throat.

I sighed, my mouth still near his ear, which made him shiver just a bit. I grinned, knowing how I could wake him, if I didn't freeze in fright. I placed a soft kiss on his jaw, then next to his ear, and then, very softly, I took his ear lobe in my teeth and pulled, slowly, letting it slip free. Suddenly his hands were in my hair, his mouth on my neck, leaving hot kisses down my throat. I forgot where I was, all there was was his mouth, which made its way up to mine. His tongue slid into my mouth and twisted with mine, and my hand that had been resting at his neck now had a fist full of his shirt. It was by far the most passionate kiss that I have ever shared with Ian. Each second pulled me away from the van and into Ian, whose grip held me tight, but it didn't seem like enough. I moved my left arm, intending to run it through his hair, or wrap it around his neck, anything to get me closer, but the pain in my shoulder stopped me short.

I abruptly pulled away and wrapped my right arm across my chest and over my shoulder. "Oh, wow, that stings!" I winced. Ian's mood shifted instantly, reaching for the No Pain as Mel fumbled to get it out. Once he had it he pulled a tissue out, motioned for me to open my mouth and then placed it on my tongue. I sighed as the pain washed away.

With the "emergency" handled, Ian relaxed, then smiled and shook his head at me. I ducked my head, feeling heat rush to my face. I couldn't believe I had let myself get so carried away, with an audience to top it off. His finger curled beneath my chin and pulled it up. I looked reluctantly into his firey blue eyes, that seemed to be questioning and smoldering at the same time.

"What was _that_ about?" he couldn't keep the smile out of his voice.

I grinned sheepishly. "You are a heavy sleeper... and I couldn't get an answer from you." I sounded like a child giving excuses for breaking a rule. "Nothing worked, so I tried something different."

His grin took up almost his entire face. "Wake me up like that anytime."

****

I walked back to the van, four sandwiches in hand. We ate quietly. I was still mortified from throwing myself at Ian in front of Mel and Jared. Ian was still grinning, but keeping quiet at least.

Jared finished and started up the van, heading down the road that would take us to the hospital. My mind wondered to Lily back in the caves. Doc and Candy seemed confident that they could handle the birth in the caves without a problem, but she seemed terrified. I knew that part of it had to be having Wes's baby, without Wes. She was finally starting to come to terms with his loss when she started getting sick on a daily basis. When Doc figured out why, she started grieving all over again.

I could hardly stand to be around her, knowing that my Seeker was the reason he was gone, but if she held a grudge against me she never showed it. Lately she had seemed more at peace with her situation, but now with the birth so close, she was getting anxious all over again. But we would have everything we needed in time. I had promised her.

Candy had told us which medications we would need to retrieve from the hospital, so as we pulled in and headed toward the loading dock, I started scanning the labels. I spotted all three; Labor Ease, which was similar to the epidurals the humans had used, but much easier to administer and much less dangerous; Natural, which relaxed the body and allowed the natural processes to take place; and Deep Sleep, this was a sedative, which was only needed if a cesarian was necessary. We also needed a few additional supplies for general use.

Jared parked the van in the shadows near the crates. We watched for a while and no one appeared. I glanced at Ian and Jared who nodded, and we all exited the vehicle. Mel stood next to the back doors of the van and served as our look out. Jared and Ian walked on either side of me as we reached the supplies and each grabbed a crate. When we had loaded everything and Jared and Mel were walking back to the front to get in their seats I heard a noise. I turned and saw a young boy walking out of the hospital. Jared and Mel's doors slammed shut which caught his attention. He squinted into the dark, having trouble making us out in the shadows.

"Hey, is someone over there?" he called. I looked behind me and saw Ian just inside the back of the van. I shut the door in his face.

"Yeah," I called back, taking a few steps toward the kid. He seemed to be in his late teens. "I was just looking for the East Wing, I must have gotten turned around."

He smiled at me. "Thats on the other side." He took a couple of steps in my direction. "Would you like me to show you?" he offered.

"No, really, thats fine, I think I know where to go now." I smiled. I turned to walk away and heard his footsteps fade away as well. I allowed a sharp breath to escape my lungs. I walked to the driver's door for appearance sake and climbed in. Jared squeezed himself next to Mel.

"All done," I grinned triumphantly as I drove us into the night.

_Ok, please leave me a review and tell me if I am doing alright. Also, if you have any ideas or thoughts for me, let me know. Thanks to you that have favorited the story!_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: My favorite person in the world, Stephenie Meyer, owns the Host and the lovely characters.

ch 4

We drove silently away from the hospital. My heart was still pounding through the adrenalin in my blood, making my body very restless. I tried to take deep calming breaths as we went further into the darkness and away from the lights of the small town we were leaving. Soon only the moon and stars lit the dark night.

I was still in the driver's seat, Mel and Jared still sharing the passenger seat next to me. Jared had pulled Mel onto his lap, and she had her head leaned back against his right shoulder while he slowly ran his hands down her arms. I remembered exactly how that felt. I tried not to stare, but my gaze would find its way over to them on its own.

Jared whispered something in her ear and she laughed quietly, then he kissed her neck, which he had easy access to.

"Maybe we should stop for tonight," Mel said in a very relaxed voice. Jared couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face.

Panic shot through me. That meant they would want their own room. That meant that Ian and I would have our own room. My grip on the steering wheel tightened and I swallowed loudly. I had wanted it just hours ago, but now my stomach was assaulting me with somersaults at just the thought. I racked my brain to find a reason not to stop that didn't give away my sudden anxiety.

"Shouldn't we get all this back to Doc and Candy?" I asked as calmly as I could manage.

"Everything will be fine, Wanda." Mel tried to sooth me. "We will only stay long enough rest a bit and clean up. Plus, you and Ian may have gotten some sleep earlier but we're wiped." I caught Jared's grin again out of the corner of my eye. I knew they had no intention of getting much rest. I sighed, deciding that arguing more would expose my nervousness, which I definitely did not want Ian or anyone else to witness. I tried to loosen my grip on the wheel before my hands starting sweating.

Mel took the map from the dash and opened it. She and Jared studied it for a moment to themselves, discussing where to stop in whispers.

"There is a place we can stop coming up Wanda. About 28 more miles." Jared told me.

I just nodded, afraid that if I spoke again my voice would shake.

Honestly, I knew that this meant nothing. That Ian wouldn't pressure me anymore tonight than he would any other night in the caves. But the fear that had a hold on me now was because I wanted something to happen. I wanted this moment with Ian, away from the echoing caves, but I also knew my nerves would get the best of me. It seemed, especially in this body, that when it came down to taking action, I froze. I knew that if I wanted anything to happen between Ian and I tonight, that I would have to at least get us started, or worse talk to him about it, and I knew I wouldn't be able to do that.

I felt Ian pat my arm from behind me and poke his head around from the back.

"You okay to drive the rest of the way to the hotel?"

I turned to catch his eye for a second and smiled at him. "Yes, I am fine." He kissed my cheek quickly before returning to his seat in the back.

Mel laughed quietly again from where she and Jared were hidden behind the extended map. Now I rolled my eyes. Maybe I should let Ian drive so I would not have to watch and hear them for the remaining 26 miles. Then again, I had subjected Mel, and probably Jared as well, to my heated moment with Ian earlier. I sighed to myself, remembering his mouth suddenly on mine, with much more force than he had dared to use before. A shudder ripped through me. Fine, I would just keep my thoughts on him until we got where we were going. That way I could ignore the foreplay beside me and hopefully build up my courage for tonight.

I thought back to his fingers digging into my hips holding me against him, my arms wrapped around his neck and reaching up on my toes to pull him down to me. Then I pictured his icy eyes burning into me, my fingers combing through his inky hair. I sighed, my body slowly relaxing, releasing a few of the muscles that had been clinched in fear. Ahh, it was working. I was suddenly in a hurry to get where we were going.

We arrived at a small motel a short while later. I climbed out, stretching my arms over my head. Mel hopped out of the passenger seat and sprinted to my side as I started toward the lobby doors. I turned to look at her, catching a broad smile on her face.

"I'll be getting my own room tonight" she winked at me.

"Yes, I figured as much" I said quietly as I quickly looked down to study the asphalt. She slung her arm around my shoulders and pulled me into her side laughing.

"Don't look so panicked Wanda! This is just what the two of you need. Some nice private time." Her grin seemed to widen as my heart sped to an unhealthy speed. She removed her arm to hold open the door as we walked into the lobby.

_Alright, I know it was shorter than the rest, but I am already working on the next chapter, hopefully it won't take too long. Please Review, and if you have any suggestions for me I would love to hear them! More thanks to those that keep adding me to their favorites/alerts! _


	5. Chapter 5

ch 5

I unlocked the door of our room and slowly walked through the door, Ian on my heels. He seemed relaxed, tossing the medical supplies he had brought in on the bed. I, on the otherhand, could feel every muscle in my body, and they all felt tight and stiff. I stood in the middle of the room, feeling like a small child with my arms crossed over my stomach. Ian started digging through the supplies.

"Here," he smiled at me, holding out a tissue of No Pain waiting for me to open my mouth. I obeyed even though I didn't have shoulder pain, but instead hoped it may ease my tension from other issues.

He patted the bed next to him, wanting me to sit so he could finish up my back. I turned and sat facing away from him giving him access. I felt his hand swept my abundance of hair around to the front of my right shoulder. I had to fight a shudder. Then he tugged at the bottom of my shirt. I tensed, and he noticed.

"If you would rather Mel do this, I can go see if she is available." he offered. I didn't dare met his gaze that I felt on me. I just shook my head and muttered "No, I'm fine" under my breath. Shouldn't the No Pain be helping me already?

Ian's hands tugged again at the bottom of my shirt and pushed it up my back. He tried to hold it out of his way the best he could, but I could tell he was having trouble. I used my right hand to pull my left arm out of it's sleeve, and then pulled the slack from the shirt toward the front. It took a few seconds before I heard him move again behind me. Then I felt the mist from the Clean, then the Heal, Seal and Smooth. His touch calmed me and excited me at the same time. He kept his fingers light on me as he worked to make me perfect again. I noticed his touch lingering on my skin as he kept rubbing the Smooth into my shoulder over and over. I leaned into his touch without realizing, which gave him courage to graze a larger area of my back with his hand. He rubbed large circles softly over the left side of my back, then slowly let his hand drift down my bare side, coming to a rest at my hip. I leaned the rest of the way into him and turned my head toward him slightly.

"Thank you," I breathed, only slightly audible.

"Anytime" he returned, then kissed the top of my head.

We held our position for another moment, all the while his hand making my hip flame from his touch. I wanted him to take charge, to make a move for me, but I knew he wouldn't without knowing it was what I wanted. I thought for a moment, then slightly twisted into him, which caused his hand to slip just a little more towards my stomach. He left it there for only a second before finally letting it slide around my waist to my stomach. This caused the fire to spread, and I sunk further into him. His grip tightened, and he closed the remaining distance between our bodies by pulling me the rest of the way into him. Then I felt his hot breath on my ear, then on my neck, then the fire exploded as his lips grazed my neck. His lips parted slightly as his wet kisses covered my entire neck. This made my body arch on its own which only egged him on.

His free hand came up, helping me the rest of the way out of my shirt. I felt exposed and fear started creeping through me for a second, but it melted away when he returned his mouth to my neck. He left a trail of kisses up my neck, finally finding my mouth as we started where we had left off in the van. The passion between us disovled my fear, at least momentarily, and I broke the kiss so I could turn to face him. I immediately pressed myself against him, lips to lips, chest to chest and threw my arms in a tight grip around his neck. He followed the momentum from this movement to push him back into the bed, bringing me with him. On top of him I lost some confidence, but didn't break our embrace. He turned so I fell to the bed on my side facing him and broke the kiss.

"Wanda," he started, but trailed off, not knowing how to broach the subject. I put my small hand over his mouth and met his eyes, and told him everything he needed to know with a look. I replaced my hand with my lips, wanting him to quit thinking. This encouraged him, he started kissing me back, bringing his hand up to cup my face. The kiss soon wound out of control, both of us needing more contact. He rolled so that he was hovering over me, then his kisses trailed down to my neck, down my chest, and to my stomach. He leaned up for a second to pull his shirt over his head revealing his beautiful, toned creamy body, then went back to kissing every inch of my stomach. His hands glided over my waist, finding the top of my pants. He hesitated to remove them until I lifted my hips, gesturing for him to proceed. He took my hint and slid them down and discarded of them. He then following suit with his own pants, leaving us both in our unmentionables.

The prolonged loss of contact from the stripping of clothes had started to eat away at my confidence and I suddenly felt very exposed laying beneath him. But his eyes taking me in, his lids becoming heavy as he returned his hands to my body made the thought disappear again. He covered me with his body again, our lips meeting in a longing kiss, my hands running down his back, never feeling like he was close enough.

His hands glided beneath me, searching for and finding the back of my bra, then removing the garment from me. He then moved his hand to my hips and guided my panties down my legs, and within seconds had removed his last article of clothing. His lips met my again as he slowly pressed himself back over me, our flesh meeting but his weight beared in his muscular arms. The feeling of our bare skin against one another felt amazing, making my entire body blaze.

Our kiss slowed and he pulled back to lock eyes with me. Very slowly and deliberately he moved one of his knees between my legs, parting them, then placing his other leg between mine, spreading me more. His paused, eyes never leaving mine, the blue burning into me. He lowered and positioned himself over me, and I felt a slight pressure. I never blinked, trying to reassure him, trying to hide the fear that was trying to overtake me.

"Wanda, it might be.. uncomfortable.. at first, just tell me if you need to stop or rest or anything like that." Worry laced his words as he looked at me. I swallowed and nodded.

"I love you," he added as he slowly started to inch into me.

My body took him in, and for a moment I experienced the discomfort he had mentioned, but at the same time felt the amazing connection we now shared, the completeness I now felt, and all I could do was whisper "I love you too."

He stayed for a moment, then slowly pulled back and inched forward again, this time a small groan escaping him. He repeated this a few times before the pain faded completely, and the fire started to spread throughout my body. Suddenly his small safe movements weren't enough, and when he pressed into to me again I automatically lifted my hips to meet his, which caused us both to let out a sigh of relief. He took encouragement from my movement and slightly increased his pace, thrusting into me, each time causing my body to coil in different places and pleasure run through my veins.

"Ian.." I barely got out more than a whisper, trying to relay that I need more of him. He took my cue and buried himself deeper into me, causing my head to dig into the pillow beneath it. Ian's deep, sensual movements where building up knots in my stomach, and I started to meet him more eagerly, my body knowing what to do to get what it needed. Ian buried his head into my shoulder as our movements brought us deeper and deeper into each other, his fingers gripping me tightly as we both worked for release.

I moved my legs, bringing them up and around him and he pumped deeper into me than I thought possible. A moan escaped me and my hands searched for a place on his back to hold onto. He dug into me again harder and I felt myself come undone. I became blind and deaf and lost all connection with my body as this pressure released from my core.

I heard Ian moan and mumble "Wanda" as he found his own release shortly thereafter. He collapsed on top of me and we both tightened our grip around one another, not wanting to lose our connection we had just shared.

He pulled his head up after a couple of minutes and looked into my eyes, and I saw the same amazement and wonder and love I felt in mine. We didn't even have to say that we loved each other because we knew. He sweetly and softly kissed me, then rolled to his side and we drifted asleep in each other's arms.

_AN: Sorry this took longer to get out than I thought. And I know its kinda soft and fluffy, but it was their first time (and mine too for writing this kinda thing) so I figured they would be sweet and gentle this time. Anyway, let me know what you think, if you have any advise or ideas for me I would love to hear those too. Thanks :)_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I keep forgetting this part, but its painfully obvious that I am not Stephenie Meyer, and therefore do not own the Host or the characters. Please don't sue me.

Thanks to my new beta, mediate89, you were awesome!

Ch 6

When I finally opened my eyes from the single best night of sleep I could have ever imagined, I immediately looked to my left. Sapphire met my stare. If eyes could smile, Ian's were. His grin took up his entire face.

"Morning," he said softly, reaching out and smoothing hair from my face. I usually managed to have it in every direction when I woke up.

"Good morning," I returned.

Ian leaned over and planted a soft kiss forehead before he sat up. "We'd better get washed up. Mel and Jared will be here soon." He swung his legs around and stood up, walking towards the bathroom. A couple of seconds later I heard the water running, followed by Ian's head peeking out of the doorway.

"Come on, slow poke!" he called and then disappeared.

I grinned. He was a different man this morning. Not only was he never up before me, he usually wasn't this excited about being up at all.

I pulled myself from the bed and found my way into the bathroom. Ian was waiting behind the curtain of the shower as I stepped in to join him. He was already wet head to toe, and completely naked. I had never seen such a beautiful sight. I slid my arms around his waist and pulled myself to him. His smile still stretched across his face, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed, momentarily lifting my feet from the floor.

He released me and grabbed a bottle of the hotel's shampoo, pouring a large amount onto his palm. His large hands slowly massaged my scalp as he washed my hair. Once he made sure that everything was rinsed out, he grabbed a washcloth and lathered it up. He started at my face, being very gentle and careful not to get any soap into my eyes, and moved down my neck, my arms, my breasts, then down to my stomach, leaving soft kisses in every area as it was cleaned. He carefully squatted down, running the washcloth over my legs, trailing more kisses. He was making me feel so relaxed and worshiped that I could barely keep my eyes open.

His lips made his way back up my body and when he was standing again he spun me around, moved my hair, and started washing my back. Again, his lips followed his hand. His kisses were turning me into goo, making my legs feel weak. As soon as I could focus, I noticed that his hand had stopped but his kisses hadn't.

His hand, sans washcloth, started at my waist and slowly slid around, lowering until they found my center. I gasped, throwing my head back into his chest. He stroked me, relighting the fire from the night before. The flames took over my body and it reacted on its own, thrusting into his hand.

I turned and threw my arms around his neck. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around him, feeling the cool tile of the shower wall hit my back as he took it a step further.

"Ian" I moaned softly, longing for the contact. He met my eyes before thrusting into me, completing me once again. The heat spread to every inch of my body as he moved, burying his head into my neck and covering me with more kisses.

My hands dug into his back as my body tightened, reaching for the release it had found hours earlier. The aching pleasure surged through me and I wondered how humans resisted the urge to have this feeling all the time. I had never had an experience that matched this in any of my lives, on any other planet.

Ian increased his speed, causing an involuntary moan to find its way out of me. This encouraged him and he added a little more power behind each thrust, sending my body into a spiral. I spasmed around him, clutching him tightly and breathing his name into his ear. Seconds later he found his own release, a long growl escaping his lips.

He slowly pulled his head up and met my eyes, his lids heavy and his breath heaving in and out.

"God, I love you," he murmured before crushing his mouth to mine.

We finished washing and exited the shower. We were still toweling off when we heard banging on the door.

Ian darted from the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I assumed he had found clothing quickly because only a few seconds later I heard him talking to someone, Mel maybe, before hearing the click of another closing door. Ian returned to the bathroom, his face still bright.

"All clear," he beamed, leaving the door open and returning to the bedroom.

I followed him out and quickly found some clean clothes to dress in. It would take a good 20 minutes to battle my hair and if Mel was already ready to hit the road, I knew my time was limited.

I gathered my hair products and stood in front of the bathroom mirror, deciding on the best course of action. I thought often about cutting it - managing Mel's hair when it was short had been so easy- but I knew it would crush multiple people to see it go, so instead I struggled to pull picks through it everyday. Fortunately I remembered Pet had found a spray to tame her unruly locks and picked it up the last time we had replenished our food and personal supplies.

Ian came in when I was about half way through. He hopped up onto the edge of the sink and leaned back against the mirror with his arms folded across his chest, still wearing his smile. I couldn't help but smile back at him. Did he actually enjoy watching me comb my hair? I couldn't understand it, but his stare was making it hard to concentrate on my task.

As I was finishing up we heard Mel's familiar banging on the door. Ian gathered up the things on the sink and headed out. I decided that my hair looked good enough and quickly followed him. He tossed our few items and the remaining medical supplies from last night into our bag and made his way to the door, opening it to reveal a smirking Melanie. I quickly adverted my eyes, which I knew gave away everything, but I couldn't bear to look at her.

Ian stood holding the door open, waiting for me walk out and followed behind me. I watched my feet until I reached the back of the van and climbed in, thankful I would be able to avoid direct eye contact until we reached the caves.

Of course, Mel had other ideas. She took her seat next to Jared and immediately turned towards Ian and I in the back. My eyes immediately went to my hands which were fidgeting in my lap.

"All rested up?" she asked. I didn't dare look up.

"Yeah, you?" Ian replied. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yep," Mel answered. She held her position for another moment, then finally turned around as Jared started backing out. I groaned internally. I knew the first opportunity that arose for Mel to get me alone would be the end of me.

Ian's arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me closer as we found the highway and headed home.

_AN: Please review!_


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: SM owns all (especially the Host) - I own a computer and a fan fiction account

Thanks again to mediate89, my lovely beta/muse, you are so helpful!

ch7

Mel couldn't seem to help herself. She kept turning around and flashing me a huge grin every fifteen minutes until we decided to stop for something to eat. We grabbed lunch through a drive-thru and before we returned to the road Mel announced that a restroom break was in order. She hopped out of the van and had the back door open a few seconds later, grabbing my hand and yanking me out with her.

Still holding my hand, she pulled me into the bathroom of the fast food joint and into the largest stall. Luckily the room was empty because I doubted that even an audience would have kept Mel from the conversation I knew was coming.

"So," she said, locking the door and turning around to look at me. "What happened last night?"

I studied the tiny tiles that made a design on the floor and wondered if she could feel the heat radiating off of my face. Did this honestly need to be discussed?

"Wanda, you have to tell me," Melanie pressed. "It's what girls do." I shot her a shy glance through my eyelashes.

"We had a nice time," I mumbled.

"I knew it!" she crowed, victorious. "I did that for you as much as I did it for me, you know."

I continued to watch the pattern on the floor. Why did she care about that part of my relationship? Why did humans - females especially- feel the need to talk about these things? None of it made any sense.

"Thanks, I guess," I said quietly, finally meeting her eyes. She was smiling sweetly now. I knew that all she wanted was for me to be happy. I could understand that at least. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw her turn toward the lock, anxious to leave. I was not ready to go into more detail, no matter how much she cared about me.

She had the door handle half turned before she froze. She turned on her heel to meet my eyes with a wary expression.

"Ian did use protection, right?" Her eyes narrowed.

I blinked. Protection? Against what? Me? Was there something wrong? She must have noticed the confusion etched across my features because she hurried to fill me in.

"Birth control, Wanda. A condom. Something to keep you from getting pregnant."

My face fell. I vaguely remembered the concept of conceiving from Mel's memory and how the humans prevented it. It had honestly slipped my mind that the tender, beautiful thing Ian and I had shared last night was linked to the other. So what did that mean? Was I pregnant now? I looked down at the small build of my body and tried to imagine my stomach stretched like Lily's. I shook my head; it was not a possibility.

Melanie read the horror on my face and assumed the obvious. "Um, ok, you didn't," she said calmly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "But you know what? It's alright. That doesn't have to mean anything." She tried to give me a reassuring smile but the apprehension was all over her face.

"I didn't know," I whispered. "I mean, I knew, but I forgot. I didn't… " I could hear the panic rising in my voice and I couldn't think to form coherent sentences. Mel pulled me into a hug.

"Don't even worry about it, Wanda. Humans have unprotected sex all the time and nothing happens. It was only your first time; I'm sure you'll be fine. We'll just have to wait and see."

Why didn't that make me feel any better?

xxx

Back in the van and on the road, Mel's constant smiles in my direction had ceased, but Ian's remained. He lounged lazily next to me, smiling ear to ear, occasionally leaning over to place a soft kiss on my temple.

I began to wonder why Ian hadn't thought of using protection. I hadn't thought of it for obvious reasons, but why wouldn't it have been on Ian's mind? He didn't even seem to be thinking about it now. How could a human forget the repercussions of our actions?

How would he feel if I did end up pregnant? How would the others back at the caves feel? Accepting me was one thing, but me mothering a human? Would this anger them?

I closed my eyes and imagined myself with a child. The humans' way of parenting was like nothing I had ever seen on any other planet in the universe. What kind of mother could I possibly be to a human? I could care for one, sure; provide love and nourishment. But would I have instincts like a real human mother? And how would the child feel about me when it was old enough to understand what I really was?

I looked over at Ian and realized that he was watching me. As soon as his eyes met mine, he leaned down and gave me a slow, sweet kiss. When he pulled back his smile stretched back into place and he sighed contentedly, reaching out to play with a strand of my hair. I decided I wouldn't mention anything to him just yet; he seemed so happy and relaxed. This news would surely break his calm. Besides, as Melanie had mentioned, I was probably worrying for nothing. I smiled back and reached over to kiss him again.

_Please review, let me know what you think... maybe what you would like to happen next_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Sorry this took longer than usual, we had a death in the family. Thanks again to mediate89 who is a great beta/muse. _

_And lastly and most obviously, I do not own any of these characters or the Host. They belong to Stephenie Meyer._

ch8

I yawned lazily as I stepped out of the van and stretched my aching limbs. The sky was lit only by the partial moon and the endless array of twinkling stars. I gazed up at them while everyone else piled out.

Ian's arms slid around my waist and he pulled me back into him. I let him support my weight as I leaned back against his chest. I had spent the last 6 hours mulling over the idea of mine and Ian's oversight of the protection issue. Even after racking my brain for hours on end, I still had no idea how to handle the situation. I was mentally and physically exhausted. All I knew for sure was that I was not going to needlessly worry Ian until something was definite.

Ian tightened his grip and leaned down to kiss my neck, then whispered in my ear, "They're not near as beautiful as you." I smiled, letting Ian's voice wash my worries away, at least for the time being.

Jared reached us then and threw a playful punch into Ian's arm. "Come on, lets get this stuff unloaded, I still have to take the van back tonight."

Ian gave me one last squeeze before he let me go and went to Jared's side. I followed, but of course was given the smallest crate and told to get moving. I sighed, knowing by now that arguing would be pointless. Mel caught up to me carrying a crate that was easily twice the size of mine.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Sure," I answered, working to keep my voice steady. "Like you said, no point in worrying about it. Whats done is done." She smiled at me sympathecially and we walked the rest of the way in silence.

When we reached the hopsital with our load, Doc looked up from the papers he was scribbling on and smiled. Even though he had Candy's immence knowledge of the Souls' medicine, he was a man of habit and continued his own research.

"Welcome home! Did you find everything we needed?" He got up and walked towards us, and relieved me of my load instead of taking Mel's larger one. I shook my head but didn't say anything.

"Yes, we did" I replied. "How is Lily?"

"About the same." He walked over to a far corner of the room and deposited the crate among the many others. Mel followed and sat hers down as well. "She is probably still up if you would like to go see her," he suggested.

"I'm off to find Jamie, the boys can handle the rest" Mel stated as she ran ahead of me through the caves.

I nodded and started heading toward Lily's room, walking briskly through the dark passageway that led to the sleeping chambers. The darkness of the caves felt oddly welcoming and I wondered when they had started feeling so much like home.

"Lily?" I called softly as I reached her doorway.

"Wanda? Oh, you're back!" I heard her call from her room. I peeked around the flowered curtain. Her face was lit in a smile.

"Just got here. How do you feel?" I asked, moving to sit down on the floor next to the mattress. She was perched on her bed Indian-style, back against the wall with a large pillow propped up behind her.

"Oh, you know, just resting. 'Bout all I'm good for right now." She laughed lightly, seeming much happier than she was before we left.

"We found everything. You are going to be fine." I smiled at her as she looked at her stomach and started to rub it absentmindedly. She seemed so much more at peace with the situation now. I was elated to have given her a little bit of that peace. She deserved it. I wondered if I discovered I was pregnant, if I would ever be that happy. The only thought it stirred in me now was terror.

"Are you nervous?" I asked. It was out before I could stop myself.

"Of course," she smiled. "A lot less now that I know everything I need is here." She looked at me appreciatively.

"What about being a mom? Does that worry you?" I couldn't stop the question from coming and I inwardly cursed my loose lips.

Luckily she smiled, un-offended, and looked back her stomach. "I was at first, about having to do this alone, without Wes." She paused and swallowed hard, trying to keep her emotions at bay. "But I have come to terms with everything and I am ready." She let out a long breath of air and looked up at me.

I smiled at her, happy that she was able to accept her situation with such good graces.

"I'm happy for you, then," I told her as I stood. She struggled to push herself away from the wall and leaned forward as best she could, reaching out and grabbing my hand. Her eyes found mine.

"Thank you so much Wanda." I nodded, squeezed her hand, then left to go find Jamie.

***

Jamie's greeting only wore me down more as he grabbed me and hugged me tightly, slightly lifting me off the ground. Even though we had only been gone a few days it felt good to see him again and hear his laugh as he filled me in on how boring the last few days had been.

"I can't wait to talk to you in the morning, Wanda! It was so dull around here without you!"

I grinned at his excitement and knew I better get to bed soon if I was going to be rested enough for him in the morning.

Ian arrived then, and after a short greeting with everyone that had gathered to meet us, grabbed my wrist and led me away from crowd. We walked to our room and through the familiar doors. The sight of our small abode made me smile. Although the small mattress we shared was a far cry from the large, plush mattress we had slept on at the hotel, this was the one I preferred. Because it was ours. We snuggled into bed together and within minutes sleep found us.

I'm not sure how long I'd slept before I was woken to someone softly saying my name. I opened my eyes and could see a touch of the sunlight making its entrance into the western sky.

"Wanda" I heard my name whispered again. I blinked and lifted my head to see a figure in the doorway. It took me a moment to recognize Trudy's face, her eyes wide. I sat up, forcing my body awake and looked at her questioningly.

"The baby's coming!"

_Please review!! Thanks to all those that add me to favorites/alerts, its nice to know you are out there!_


	9. Chapter 9

_I am not SM, the brilliant lady who owns the Host._

_Thanks (again) to mediate89 for betaing. _

ch9

Trudy's stride quickened as we approached the hospital and I almost had to jog to keep up. On the way I considered what my roll would be tonight. Doc and Candy would obviously handle the medical aspect, and I suspected Trudy would be present for support as she was Lily's closet friend here, but I certainly wouldn't be any help to anyone, and truthfully the thought of seeing the whole process was a little too real for me. Lily's situation made it too hard to forget what I might be facing in a matter of months.

Jeb sat at the entrance of the Doc's headquarter's directly across from Geoffrey who gave Trudy a wink as she walked in. I hesitantly stopped in front of Jeb and turned to look at him.

"I'm sure you're allowed in." He smiled at me.

"I'm not sure, I don't know what my purpose would be." I looked down at my hands. "I think I might just wait with you."

Jeb just gave a slight nod. I stood looking at the entrance, listening to the mumbled voices and movement. I wondered if everything was going as smoothly as Doc and Candy had promised it would with the aid of the medications. My breath caught in my throat as I realized how close we had been to being too late. We had only arrived with the supplies a few hours prior to the start Lily's labor.

"Might as well take a seat, these things tend to take a while" Jeb said, pulling my blind focus from the room in front of me.

I smiled slightly and sat down a few feet away from him against the wall and tried to make myself comfortable. Geoffrey smiled warmly at me from across the pathway.

"No trouble on your trip, Wanda?"

"No," I smiled back. "I'm just thankful we got back in time."

He nodded then settled his head back against the wall and let his eyes close. I looked to Jeb who had his eyes closed as well. I took their lead and let mine shut, trying to fight thoughts of myself in this scenario.

Despite my best effort at pushing any thoughts of pregnancy from mind, as they were pointless to consider before I knew anything for sure, they still seemed to leak in. I supposed it was mostly due in part to the sympathetic looks Mel had shot me the rest of the way home and Lily's situation keeping it fresh in my mind.

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, trying to clear my mind and felt myself drifting off to sleep moments later.

***

A piercing scream shot through the hall, jarring me from my slumped position against the cave's wall. Jeb and Geoffrey raised their heads and smiled at the sound. I pulled from my memory that babies did cry and often, but the noise that emitted from the hospital seemed unnatural and filled with pain.

"Is everything ok? Why is the baby screaming like that?" I asked as I started to stand.

"Everything is fine, Wanda" Jeb said, sleep still thick in his throat. "That sound is a good sign."

I looked at him. How could that sound be good? It sounded awful.

I took a step toward the room but stopped when Trudy appeared in the passageway with a huge grin on her face and tears in her eyes.

"It's a little boy," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. She took a step forward to grab my hand and pull me behind her into the room.

I spotted the group in the far corner of the little cave. Candy was positioning covers back over Lily and Doc was examining the baby cuddled in her arms. I smiled at the scene, but was immediately hit with grief as I realized who was missing.

"She's decent guys," Trudy hollered behind us. Lily looked up at the sound, her eyes met mine and her smile stretched even further.

I reached her and placed my hand on her arm. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "It went perfectly." She paused to look down at the baby in her arms. "He is perfect."

I looked down at the newborn. He had stopped crying, I assume after being put in his mother's arms, and now just whimpered slightly. The thick, dark hair covering his head looked beautiful with his skin that mirrored the creamy caramel color of Lily's. I didn't realize I was smiling at him until Lily asked me if I wanted to hold him and I felt the smile fall from my face.

"Oh, that - thats alright." I stammered. "I'm not very experienced." I took a short step back, shaking my head.

Lily rolled her eyes slightly. "Wanda, you are the gentlest person I have ever met. You will be fine." She started the move her arms toward me so I could take the baby, but I was frozen. For some unfathomable reason I felt terrified to hold him. It didn't add up in my mind. I had held other children in the cave without any issues.

"Wanda?" Lily said, still holding out the baby for me. "Don't be silly. He's just a baby."

I looked at the small person in her arms, tiny and helpless, eyes blinking heavily, and without knowing it cradled him into mine. I gazed at him, lost in time. His tiny features were soft and perfect.

"See, you're a natural." Lily smiled at me.

I met her eyes. "He is beautiful." I looked back down at him. "What is his name?"

"Wesley," she whispered. "I hadn't planned on calling him that if he was a boy, but looking at him now, its the only name that fits."

I smiled at her, then at him. "Its perfect."

"WANDA?" I heard my name echo from somewhere in the caves.

Jeb was standing in the room but still near the entryway. He turned toward the opening and yelled "In here, Ian."

A few moments later Ian appeared in the room slightly out of breath.

"There you are!" Relief flooded his face. He must have worried when he woke and noticed I was missing. He then noticed the baby in my arms and closed the remaining distance between us. The smile on his face was as big as ever. He draped an arm over me as he examined the infant.

"This is Wes" I told him. Ian looked at him with wonder and amazement, his face lighting up. His features all seemed to soften at the sight of the little baby.

"Did you want to hold him?" I offered.

Ian nodded and placed his hands under mine to accept tiny Wes, who looked even smaller in his arms. I watched as he rocked back and forth, carefully cradling the small life he held. Suddenly all my worry vanished and my shoulders felt lighter. I knew that no matter what happened with our situation, Ian would be there. He would be strong, and supportive, and everything would be fine.

_Drop me a review, only takes a sec!_


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: If you are reading this you probably know that I am not Stephenie Meyers (duh) and therefore do not own the Host. _

_Many, many thanks go out to mediate89, my awesome beta. You turn stuff around amazingly fast and encourage me to keep this up. _

_So I realize in the 9 chapters up to this point I have only covered about 4 days (although my chapters are short, sorry 'bout that) so I skipped ahead a couple of weeks in order to get things moving. _

ch10

I let out a long sigh as I looked down at the small sleeping infant on my bed. Wes had been here for two weeks now and I had somehow become his nanny. Numerous people thought this was a brilliant idea, as most of them were reluctant to let me do much else, but I thought it was careless of them. What did I know about babies? Not only did I not know anything, but I couldn't pull any experience from Mel's or Pet's memories. Lily had insisted it be me though, and I felt so indebted to her that I couldn't refuse.

Lily was quick to recover from the delivery with the aide of the soul's medications and in the last few days had even helped a couple of hours at a time with a few of the lighter chores. Other than that, I had really only kept him while she bathed or needed a break.

As it turned out, Wes himself was not as terrible as I imagined. After hearing his scream that first day, I was terrified of him. Anything that could make that kind of noise was a force to be reckoned with. But he had proved to be a pretty easy baby. The only time he let out those awful screams now was when Lily was a little late feeding him. Other than that, he slept.

I was lying on my side next to him on the bed, my head propped up on my hand when Ian walked in, still sweaty from working. I met his eyes and smiled. He silently walked to the side of the bed and sat, taking in little Wes as well.

"He's so amazing," Ian whispered after a moment, looking up from the baby to me.

"I know" I replied, absentmindedly stroking Wes' tiny hand with my thumb. "He's so peaceful. It must be nice."

Ian seemed confused. "What do you mean?"

"Just that he doesn't have a care in the world." I shrugged. I looked back down at Wes and smiled.

"You know," Ian said softly, "you really are good with him. No matter how insecure you feel."

"Well, before you give me too much credit, this is pretty much all he does. I don't really have to do anything."

"You do plenty." He locked eyes with me, then reached across the baby and cupped my face in his hand, his thumb smoothing my cheek. "You'll make a great mom someday."

I could literally feel all the blood drain from my face and my eyes widen to twice the size at his words. In the two weeks that had passed from my first night with Ian, I had yet to talk to him about my fears, or receive any indication that I had nothing to worry about. Just yesterday Mel had stopped me in the hall and gave me a pointed look and I just shook my head. She didn't say anything in return, just squeezed my arm supportively and continued on her way.

"What's the matter, Wanda?" Ian's voice sounded through my mind. I opened my mouth and closed it again, trying to figure out what to say. My mouth felt dry and weak and all I could do was stare at him.

"Wanda?" he asked again. My body finally unfroze and I quickly lowered my gaze and pursed my lips together. At this point I knew Ian had the right to know what I was worried about as with every passing day it became more and more likely.

Ian slid his hand from my cheek to under my chin and raised my eyes to his again. "Are you alright? Is there something wrong?" His face was flooded in concern now.

"Ian," I choked out, "someday might be sooner than you think." As the words let my mouth I searched his face for understanding. He was silent for a moment, his eyes unfocused. I saw the exact moment realization dawned on him and I cringed waiting for his reaction, but never expected the one he gave. He quickly closed the distance between our faces and crushed my mouth with his while the hand on my face clutched me to him.

After a moment he pulled back and as soon as his lips left mine they stretched into a smile. His words started coming out in a gush.

"Are you serious? How long have you known? Are you positive? Does anyone else know about this?" He reached over and kissed me again, but this time I pulled back.

"Wait, Ian. I don't know anything yet. I just know that it is a possibility due to our.." I paused, trying to find the right wording, "lack of birth control when we were out on our raid a few weeks ago." I tried to not let the words fluster me but I could feel the heat in my face. We hadn't spoken about or repeated the actions of our trip since it had happened.

"Right," Ian nodded. "Well... are you late?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I didn't make an effort to keep track before." I stared a him for a moment, looking at the excitement still written all over his face. I felt my eyebrows draw together in a slight frown. "You're not upset?"

"Honestly.... not really," he said, sounding slightly surprised by his own answer. "I mean, I had never really thought about being a dad before, but if it happened with you," he paused and sighed, reaching over to kiss me again, this time soft and sweet. I kissed him back but my mind was reeling. How could he really be so ok with this? Did he not understand what a huge deal this would be?

He broke away from me and stood. "What time is Lily coming back? We need to go see Doc."

"Wait, no." I looked up at him. "I don't want to tell anyone about this. I mean, we don't know anything yet."

Ian lowered himself back down to my eye level. His blue eyes burned into mine with amazing intensity. "I want to know."

I sighed heavily. "Ian, even if Doc and Candy have a test or something else, it may not do us any good yet. It may be too early still." I pleaded to him with my eyes. I was not ready to face this yet. His reaction to the news had calmed my nerves some, but my stomach was still twisting with knots at the thought of this all being true.

Whether he agreed with me or saw the fear in my eyes I'm not sure, but he finally nodded after a moment and kissed my forehead. "Fine, but we are only waiting a few more days. Either way we need to know."

I smiled and nodded, trying to ignore my gymnast stomach.

***

Later that night we laid in bed, Ian's arms wrapped around me from behind, the way we slept every night. I squirmed in his arms to turn and face him and buried my head in chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"Ian, I'm afraid." I whispered so softly I wasn't sure he heard.

"Oh, Wanda," he whispered back and I pulled my head back to meet his eyes as he took a hand to smooth my hair. I could feel the tears threatening to spill over. "You have nothing to worry about. If you are pregnant, that will be the luckiest baby in the world. You have more love and compassion in you than anyone."

I tried to shake my head at his humble words but his hands came up from my waist and held it as his mouth came down to meet mine. He started the kiss as soft and reassuring, but I met it with urgency.

My hands clutched his bare arms as I tried to pull myself closer. His hands slowly started to slide down my body as I pulled on his lower lip with my teeth. A low moan erupted from deep down in his chest and suddenly he shifted his weight so he was positioned over me.

I slowly ran my fingertips down his bare chest, tracing all the ridges as I continued to kiss him eagerly. He grunted and ground his hips into me, then started a trail of kisses to my ear and down my neck that left a fire in their place.

When he met the collar of my shirt he lowered himself to its hem and started kissing my stomach, slowly working his way up, shoving the shirt out of his way with his nose as he went. He reached my breast and unveiled it with his nose as well, then took the tip into his mouth. I arched up into him involuntarily and inhaled sharply at the sensation.

He held his weight on one hand as the other lowered to removed my shorts and panties, quickly followed by his pants, all while placing erratic kisses on my body. He slowly reached his way back up to my neck, positioning himself at my entrance, then whispered in my ear, "Wanda, you are perfect, and I love you," before thrusting into me.

My head burrowed back into the bed at the pleasure that coursed through my body from our connection. We fit together perfectly and every worry and thought in my mind gave way to how I felt with him in me. He slowly pulled out and thrust in again, starting a slow rocking rhythm. After a moment I moved my hips to meet his which had us both fighting to silence our moans. We moved together in our rhythm, slight whimpers and "I love you's" falling from our lips.

Ian steadily increased our pace and I felt that familiar coil tightening in my stomach. Each thrust started to elicit soft moans from me and I needed more. I rocked into his hips harder at his next thrust which caused his head to fall back as a growl escaped his chest. Encouraged, his movements became faster and stronger bringing us both to the edge.

Although we had fought to keep our noise to a minimum up to that point, I couldn't control myself once my release found me. "Ian" escaped me in almost a shout as I came around him and a throaty growl came from him before he finally collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily.

I held him there tight for a moment, grateful he was mine. Then he rolled us over and I fell into a peaceful sleep on his chest, troubles nowhere in sight.

_Leave me a review and let me know what you think if ya got a sec 3_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: SM owns all things Host (and me)._

_Thanks to mediate89, my beta/comma-killer/favorite fan. You keep me going._

ch11

Telling Ian had been mistake.

Considering him over-protective previously was a enormous understatement. His precautions were now so over-the-top that he was earning strange looks from everyone around us.

He started out the morning after by walking slightly in front of me anywhere we went, I assumed to prevent someone from accidently bumping into me. Then I realized he was making an extra effort to go everywhere with me, even to the wash area.

He eyed my food carefully, making sure I was eating plenty and healthily. He insisted on cutting my evening lessons short to make sure I got my much needed rest.

He wouldn't let me carry anything and for a few days complained about me having to carry Wes. I drew the line there because I was not going to slack on my responsibility to Lily, no matter what Ian's little quirks were.

I tried not to complain or make a big deal out of it because I knew it was only his nature, and he had been so understanding regarding my need to stall.

Although after almost another week and still no period, I knew it was time to face the facts. I either had to put an end to the worry and consequently Ian's overbearing actions, or, in the event of a pregnancy, set some rules up with him. Plus I knew he was teetering on the edge of going mad with curiosity, even though he put on a mask of patience for my benefit.

I mulled it over in my head for most of the day, deciding how I would approach Doc. I even briefly considered talking to Candy in an attempt to avoid an embarrassing conversation with Doc, but dismissed it quickly realizing I felt more comfortable with him than almost anyone in our community.

I knew that most nights Doc hung around the hospital well into the night, writing in journals or reading, so I silently planned to visit him then. Once the plan was made in my head, I felt almost nauseated at following it through, but I knew better than delaying it any further.

That night when Ian and I walked tiredly into our room and I didn't immediately sit to remove my shoes, my favorite thing to do after the long day of walking on the uneven ground of the caves, he eyed me carefully.

With a sigh, I told him, "I'm ready to see Doc now."

He grinned and almost shot out of our door right then but I grabbed his hand.

"Let's just wait until everyone gets settled," I explained.

He nodded once and sat down on the edge of our bed, fidgeting profusely. I sat down next to him and took his hand into mine to try and ease his nerves. He glanced at me sideways, still grinning.

"Ian, you have to calm down. I can't bear to see your disappointment if this is all because I miscalculated." I looked at him pleadingly.

After a moment I added, "I honestly don't know if I can bear to see your joy if I am pregnant because I still don't know how I feel about it. It frightens me so much." My voice cracked on the last word as tears swam behind my lids.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him and turned to place a kiss on the top of my head.

"Wanda, if you would rather me not be there when you find out, I could stay.." he started but then stopped when I turned to him; I'm sure with a look of unbelief on my face.

"Of course I want you there, Ian! I can't do this without you!" I nearly sobbed.

"You said that you were worried about my reaction, I was only trying everything to make you more comfortable," he offered, taking me into a full embrace then, wrapping both of his lengthy arms around my petite figure. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and just shook my head. I knew that Ian would anything for me, and hearing him offer to put his burning curiosity on hold for my comfort just solidified that fact.

We walked hand in hand out of room and to the hospital slowly after everyone had turned in for the night. I was in no hurry and Ian seemed to understand that I needed to prepare myself and kept my slow pace. It was also nice because no one else was out and Ian didn't feel the need to drag me behind him.

I saw Doc's midnight oil burning from outside of the room as we approached. My grip on Ian's hand tightened noticeably.

Doc looked up from his book and smiled worriedly at our presence during the late hour. I wasn't sure how much blood Ian's fingertips could be getting, but it couldn't have been much. He didn't so much as flinch though; he just squeezed me back lightly and reassuringly.

"Everything alright?" Doc asked once we stopped in front of him. I started to open my mouth but choked on my words. Ian spoke up instead.

"Doc we need a test."

Doc's eyes lingered on Ian questioningly, then looked to me, then back to Ian before they lit up with realization. I noticed he was immediately careful not to let his personal feelings show in his face as he turned into a doctor instead of "Doc."

"Wanda, when was your last period?"

I blushed furiously and my gaze plummeted to the floor. Again, Ian had to speak for me.

"She doesn't remember," he informed Doc who nodded in return.

"Well, we actually still have some tests here, not too many of them have been used since you all brought some back."

My forehead wrinkled wondering who else in the caves might have needed a test, but part of me was just relieved that we were not the first ones to deal with this situation.

Doc stood up and wondered over into a corner of his hospital to look for the tests he referred to, carrying his light with him and leaving Ian and I in a barely visible glow. My heart threatened to escape my chest while we waited in silence for him to return with something that would alter our lives forever. Even if it was negative, I knew our relationship would be forever changed. I had a inkling that Ian would what to pursue a family if tonight didn't end the way he was so obviously leaning.

A family. It was the first time I had considered it in that light. We would be a family. The thought made it oddly more comforting, but only until I noticed the light returning followed by Doc with a small plastic box. My stomach joined my feet on the ground.

Doc placed his light on his make-shift table and snapped open the lid and carefully removed a long and thick clear stick with a circular object attached to one end.

Ian's eyebrows pulled together at the foreign object, not recognizing it.

"It's actually from the Souls," Doc explained. "It's much more convenient as well." He looked at me. "Our tests used to require a urine or blood sample to determine a pregnancy. Luckily for you, all you have to do is place the disc on your tongue for five seconds and the entire stick will either turn red for negative or blue for positive." He held it out for me to take. "It's also 100% accurate, of course."

The hand that reached for it was shaking violently. When I almost dropped it, Ian took it from me.

"Want to take this back to our room?" He asked sweetly. I nodded, eternally gratefully of the fact that Ian could see right through me. We gave Doc a thankful glance as we headed back to our room.

"Let me know if you need anything else," Doc offered to our retreating forms.

I fought the urge to vomit the entire way back. Ian tried to make me feel better by joking about how the souls had to one-up everything, even something as simple as a pregnancy test. I tried to smile but I'm sure it probably resembled more of a grimace.

As we entered our room I immediately sat on the bed, worrying my legs would give out. I didn't honestly know how much more anxiety my tiny body could take. Ian stood in front of me, then lowered to a kneel and cupped my face in his hands.

I tried to focus on him and not the object in his hand, but it was useless. "I'm ready." I told him defeated. I really, _really_ wasn't, but I all the buildup was threatening my sanity.

Ian nodded at me, and still cupping my face, pulled it to his and pressed his mouth against mine. When his tongue pressed into my mouth, I almost forgot for a moment, allowing it to be just me and him. My hands desperately reached out and clung to his shirt.

He finally pulled back, removed his hands, and waited patiently for me to open my mouth to signal I was ready. I tried to swallow over the lump in my throat, but on the third try gave up and just opened my mouth and closed my eyes simultaneously.

I felt the disc hit my tongue and had to keep myself from jerking my head away. I counted out the longest five seconds of my life and when I didn't hear a reaction from Ian, peeked with one eye to look at his face.

His free hand was covering his mouth and his eyes were wide. I slowly dropped my gaze to the stick still in my mouth and felt my heart trip over itself trying to find its normal rhythm.

The stick was as blue as Ian's eyes.

The last thing I remember was my eyes rolling back slightly as my body fell to the bed behind me.

When my eyes lazily opened and took in the room, I almost lost consciousness again. I wasn't sure if there were a lot of people around me or if my vision was blurred, but either situation was terrifying.

When I was finally able to find and focus on Ian's eyes, the icy blue brought reality screaming back at me and I snapped them shut. Unfortunately though, when I closed my eyes I saw the other blue. The one in the long stick.

Pregnant.

I couldn't pull my thoughts together, they each seemed to have different voices and pitches and it was making my head swim. After another moment I realized the thoughts weren't mine, they were voices in the room.

"Wanda!" I could only clearly make out Ian's as they finally started to separate and clear up.

Against my better judgment, I opened my eyes again. When I took in the room a low groan came out of me.

The room was filled to the brim with people. When Ian noticed my reaction, being the saint that he was, he ordered everyone out stating that I would be fine and I needed some space. The room slowly became less crowded. As some faces left I could start to make out the ones that stayed behind. Ian, Mel, Jared, Jamie and Doc.

"Wanda, are you alright?" Ian's eyes roamed all over me trying to make sure I was really ok. I nodded but closed my eyes and groaned again. I felt a hand, I guessed Doc's, come up to my face and briefly feel my cheeks and forehead. I felt another hand on my wrist for a moment.

"She'll be fine, Ian. It was just anxiety." Doc's reassuring voice sounded out in the now thankfully quiet room.

"Just rest Wanda. And make sure to take it easy tomorrow." He told me.

I held back my groan that time. Like Ian needed any incentive to make sure I took it easy.

"Anxiety from what?" I heard Jamie ask, but then heard numerous pairs of feet shuffle from the room.

I slowly opened my eyes and met Ian's. He brought up a hand and caressed the hair from my face, trying to smile. His eyes looked slightly rimmed in red.

"Don't ever do that again, ok?" He told me, his voice thick with emotion.

"Sorry, Ian." I looked at him apologetically.

"So does everyone know now?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I'm guessing Doc does, but neither of us mentioned anything to anyone else."

I frowned though, because I knew that Mel had probably figured it out too, and that meant Jared knew. Then I shook my head slightly and tried to push everyone else from my mind, deciding I could worry about them knowing or now knowing later.

We lay like that for a while, just staring at each other while he soothingly stroked my face.

I was finally able to let it sink in that I was pregnant. I was going to have a baby. I was going to be a mother. Raise a child. Have a family. Be responsible for a life.

With Ian.

The more I repeated the words in my mind, the less they frightened me. They were still worrisome, though. I wasn't positive in my ability to perform these new responsibilities. But looking at Ian, the determination in his eyes, the love he wore on his sleeve, the way I knew from personal experience that he could handle anything, I suddenly felt I could do anything.

Ian noticed the resolve in my eyes, and smiling bigger than I ever thought possible, scooped me up in his arms and positioned me in the bed so he could snuggle up against me. He always knew all I needed was time and he gave it and would continue to give it. He was patient above all else.

He curled me up against him whispered "I love you" before we both drifted off to sleep.

_Review!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Stephenie Meyer stills owns the Host, and I still own nothing. *sigh*_

_A/N: Thanks to all of you that took the time to review the last chapter. It was very inspiring to see all of them waiting for me in my inbox!_

_Of course, I have to thank mediate89 for betaing and making this story even better. She rocks. _

ch12

I quickly learned many things about human pregnancy during the first week after I had conceded the obvious.

First was that it wears on you. I had planned on fighting Ian's decision to restrict me to bed rest for a couple of days, but it turned out I couldn't. Not only did I not have the energy to argue, I found it tiring just to do routine things. I even slept much longer than Ian now, and that was saying something.

Second it was awful. My breasts were sore, I didn't find any food appealing, and my bladder made it necessary to take numerous trips to the wash area daily.

Thirdly, it was long. I had been confined to my bed for 6 days now. I couldn't even begin to imagine 9 months of this. My back hurt from the lack of activity and the inability to get comfortable in our pitiful mattress.

The good thing about it was the way Ian was acting. He had a constant grin, I was told even when not in my presence. He was a bit of a worrier, but his heart was so good that it made me feel more at ease about the whole situation.

I had convinced him this morning that I was able to handle my nanny responsibilities again and told him to have Lily bring baby Wes whenever she needed a break. I was looking forward to the distraction and promised that lifting his ten-pound body would not be any stress on me at all.

I sat myself upright in our bed and stretched my arms above my head, preparing for the trek to the bathroom when I heard a faint knock on the door.

"Come in," I answered.

Lily appeared and came in smiling with little Wes in her arms. I hadn't seen her since before the pregnancy/fainting fiasco. I had given Ian permission to inform everyone of my condition because there was no use hiding it after that. A few people had come by to congratulate us and check on me since. I wasn't offended when Lily hadn't though, I knew she was busy and getting all the rest she could. Only a few days into pregnancy and I had a whole new respect for her.

"Hi, Wanda, how are you?" She asked cheerfully as she walked in and sat down next to me, wrapping me in an one armed hug.

"Alright," I answered truthfully. I had a feeling that everything I was experiencing was routine and that I really didn't have room to complain just yet. I reached out for Wes, realizing how much I had missed him. She handed him to me and watched me smile down at him.

"I heard the news," she said causally from beside me. I didn't look up at her when I responded, my eyes transfixed by the baby in my arms.

"Yeah," I sighed, "it was a bit of a surprise."

"Ian seems a bit ecstatic," I heard her smile.

I laughed a little. "Yes, that's putting it mildly."

She laughed slightly in return. After another moment I broke my gaze and turned to look at her.

"Is it hard?" I asked her. "I don't know if it has honestly hit me yet, but whenever I think about it all I can do is worry." I looked back down at sleeping Wes. He didn't seem _too_ complicated.

"It is hard, Wanda," she replied. I looked back at up her response worriedly.

"It is a huge responsibility, taking care of another life. You have to put the baby before everything and anything, including yourself. You will lose sleep, miss meals and worry yourself crazy for the rest of your life." She paused to soothingly rub my back. "But you can do it, and it will all be worth it."

I exhaled shakily and tried my best to smile at her. At least she had some confidence in me, even if I didn't.

She laughed suddenly and nudged me with her arm. "But don't listen to me; I've only been doing this for a month."

I laughed with her for a moment. It was nice to make light of the situation for a moment. I felt like all I did was worry and dream up impossible scenarios that I wouldn't be able to handle.

Lily reached around to the small bag she carried that held a couple of items for the baby and I noticed her pull a large, worn book from it.

"Here," she said sitting it between us. "I am obviously done with it, and it will help you more than you know."

I glanced down at the title. "What to Expect When You're Expecting" I giggled at the clever wording.

"Thanks Lily. For everything."

It was when Ian came in carrying a tray of food that I noticed I had been reading all afternoon and was now struggling to see in the waning light. The smell of the food immediately drew my attention to him.

"UGH! Ian, take that out!" I cringed. He quickly turned on his heel and exited with the tray. I heard him place it just outside the door and return a second later.

"Sorry about that," he said chagrined. "But you do need to eat something. Is there anything that sounds alright to you?" He looked at me hopefully.

I thought for a moment. I really didn't want anything, but I knew better than to tell him that. I ran over a mental list of items that might be available from the non-perishable food we had left.

"I could try to eat a roll," I finally told him. He stepped back out and grabbed one that must have been on the tray he brought. He handed it to me and I started to pick at it.

"So, Lily brought me this book." I gestured to the one in my lap. "It has been very helpful."

He glanced at it and nodded as he sat on the edge of mattress near my feet. "Yes, that's a very popular book."

"Its says, if I did the math right, that right now the baby is an inch long and already has a pumping heart." I told him as I pinched small pieces from my roll and placed them into my mouth.

Ian's face brightened and he scooted back so that he was even with me. "Really? That's great. What else does it say?" He was clearly excited about my suddenly positive attitude about the baby. Even through all his joy over the situation, up unto this point I had only voiced my concerns. His shoulders seemed lighter somehow.

I did felt better about it now. The book seemed to hold most if not all the answers I'd been looking for. I sighed with relief that I wouldn't be keeping Doc up during all hours of the night with my endless and probably embarrassing questions.

I opened the book and showed Ian the illustrations of what the baby looked like at this point in the pregnancy. It only vaguely resembled a human.

"It also gives ideas how to beat the nausea, like eating several small meals a day and constantly keeping something on your stomach." I smiled as I stuck another piece of the roll in my mouth.

"Oh, alright. Well, I will go get a few things later that you can keep in here." He smiled happily as he pulled me into an embrace.

"I am so glad you seem to be handling this better today."

"Me too," I told him. "Plus, I got to see Wes today, and I forgot how great he was. And there are so many people here who can help."

Happy with my new outlook, Ian squeezed me once more. We sat together in a comfortable silence for a while, slowly flipping through pages in my new favorite book.

After a while Ian turned to me and asked, "So do you think you are up to seeing Doc and Candy? They want to do an exam and check on you."

"Sure," I answered, knowing Ian wanted the exam more than anyone else did.

"Now ok?" He asked. I smiled, at him. He really did need constant reassurance that everything was ok.

"Yes, that is fine," I told him, then leaned over to kiss him softly on the cheek.

Candy was sitting at Doc's desk when we entered, quietly reading what looked to be Doc's notes.

"Hey, you two," she called to us when she looked up. "Doc is eating, but he should be back shortly. Is there anything I can do?"

"Just wanted to have our first official doctor's appointment," Ian grinned as we finally reached her. She placed the notebook on the desk, picked up another one and motioned for me to sit on the cot closest to her as she stood.

"Well, I don't know how much help I will be. I was only trained with the Soul's equipment, which we don't have here. Doc is the human expert." She smiled at her own expense as she approached. "But we'll see what I can do."

She sat on the cot across from me with her fresh notebook. "So, how is everything going so far?"

"Alright, I guess."

Ian sighed at my lack of response. "She has had breast tenderness, nausea but no vomiting, and extreme fatigue."

Candy let a small smile form as she nodded and jotted down a few notes. "Those sound very normal," she told him.

Ian sat down next to me and swept my hair away from my face and behind my shoulder, then wrapped his large arm around my waist. I leaned into him a bit, feeling the aforementioned fatigue. It was amazing how much my body was craving rest, even though now that I had read of the multiple things it was currently accomplishing, who could blame it.

"No pain or cramping though, right?" She asked without looking up.

"No."

"Well, why don't you lay down for me," she said as she stood and went to the desk, searching for something. Ian stood, allowing me room to lie back. She returned with a tape measure which she used to measure my stomach. She made a note of the number and told me I could sit again. Ian returned to my side.

"Looks like you are about six weeks along. You are measuring good and as long as your symptoms remain modest, I would say everything seems to be going as well as can be expected. I would suggest trying to taking one of the Health supplements if you don't regain your appetite soon."

Ian and I both nodded and told Candy thanks as we left.

By the time we made a detour to the bathroom and back to our room I was completely worn out. Ian chuckled as he helped me into bed.

"You had a big day, didn't you?"

"Hey, I am creating a human over here," I replied sleepily as I curled into a ball in the bed.

"Yes, you are, I'm sorry," Ian apologized as he removed his shirt and crawled into bed and pulled my back against his chest.

"I wish I could do something more to help," he sighed.

"Ian," I laughed, "you do more than enough. You wait on me hand and foot."

He kissed my shoulder and sighed again. "I know, but it just seems so hard on you."

"I'll be fine Ian, you worry too much."

"I know," he resigned.

The next morning I woke alone again and laughed at myself. I hadn't even heard Ian get up and leave. I slowly stretched my arms and legs, delaying getting up as long as possible until my bladder won out over my laziness.

I swung my legs out from the bed and sat up, noticing the large stash of food that Ian had apparently gathered this morning and left in our room. In true Ian form, it looked like half of the kitchen's stock was available for me to pick from. I peaked in the box remembering the advice from the book, but nothing in it appealed to me whatsoever.

I told myself that once I used the restroom I might be more interested in food, but right now I had a more important issue. I grabbed some clothes and decided that a nice bath would help as well.

Feeling much more refreshed and clean as I left the washroom, I walked across the lobby area toward my room dreading the upcoming battle of combing my hair. I predicted that it alone would consume most of today's engery.

I noticed Jamie as he ducked into the kitchen with Sharon and the other children and I waved and smiled at him. Was it lunch already? I had evidently slept longer than I thought.

I was hoping that Lily would bring Wes again today as I left the lobby when I felt a sudden rush of vertigo. I paused mid-stride and shook my head a little, trying to shake the feeling off. When it didn't return, I started forward again, only to feel it come on much stronger. I stopped again, trying to steady myself as before, but even though I had stopped the room kept moving, and I felt myself falling back.

The last thing I remembered was feeling my head smack the rocky floor.

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	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: SM owns all (yada yada yada) and I own nothing (sniff, sniff)**

_A/N: SERIOUS thanks and props to mediate89-my lovely beta. She really helped tons with this one even though she wasn't feelin too hot and I love her for it. _

_Also thanks to all of you that have added me to alerts/favorites. You guys rock, there around 50 of ya now! That makes me so happy!_

ch13

As I came to, pain shot through the back of my head and I immediately wished for the dull unconsciousness to return. I could tell I was being carried, but the arms felt all wrong.

"Someone get O'Shea! Now!" I heard a familiar voice shout, but it was muffled in my head and I couldn't make out who it was.

I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't tell if I was succeeding or not. If they were open, then there was black all around me. Deciding my eyes were unreliable, I tried to focus on the sounds surrounding me again. I heard bits and pieces of voices and noises, but they all seems far away and I quickly gave up trying to discern them.

I was only able to determine that whoever was holding me was running. My body was bouncing slightly in their arms and each movement made my head pulse hot with pain. I tried to remember why my head so badly in the first place but the memory escaped me.

Relief washed through me when I felt the familiar cot underneath of me because at least now I knew where I was and that I was in good hands. I tried to call for Doc, to tell him my head hurt, but the painful noise that escaped my lips instead surprised me. I stopped myself and just hoped he would figure it out.

Only a moment later a cool mist fell across my face. It smelt like raspberries and my mind fought to place it because I knew it from somewhere, but everything quickly faded away...

...

...

...

...

"She should be coming around soon," Doc's voice slurred. Slurred? Was Doc drinking again? What happened now?

I felt someone squeeze my hand and knew immediately whose hand that was. "Ian?" my weak voice squeaked out.

"Yes, Wanderer, I'm right here," I heard him whisper close to me. His voice sounded funny too. Why couldn't I see him? Why was it still so dark? It dawned on me then that I my eyes were still shut tight. I worked to peel the lids back; I needed to see Ian.

Finally, Ian's blurry face appeared and then slowly came into focus. His eyes were rimmed in red with fresh tears trickling down his face.

"I thought I told you not to do that anymore," he said, now allowing a small smile. I could feel my face brighten in return. His voice was clearer now and the rest of the room came into focus finally.

"Sorry," I apologized sheepishly. "What happened? Why did I black out?" I began looking around for Doc who drifted into my line of sight, not looking drunk at all, but very, very sober.

"Well, Wanda, I can't be sure to tell you the truth," he sighed heavily, frustrated. "My best guess is that your are suffering from a severe case of anemia-iron decifiency, but without proper tests, that's all it is; my best guess."

"Is the baby ok?" I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Doc nodded half-heartily. "As far as we can tell." He walked over to his desk and started writing furiously in what I assumed was my "chart."

Except for Doc's aggravated mumbling about limitations, it was silent for a moment as Ian rubbed slow circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. What did this mean? What would happen to the baby if I didn't have enough iron? Would I keep passing out? I opened my mouth to ask, but Ian started before I could.

"Doc says that since we don't have easy access to iron-rich foods or supplements, your best bet is the Health supplements. Jared checked and told us we only had about half a bottle left, so he, Mel and Jamie went--"

"Jamie?!" I instinctively jerked my head up to protest but a nauseating wave of vertigo made me drop it quickly. I groaned and placed my free hand over my forehead.

"Wanda, everything will be ok. He was just so worried about you and wanted some way to help. He is with Jared and Mel; you know they won't let anything happen to him." Ian tried to sooth me, but I groaned again.

"He shouldn't be out there. I wish he would have stayed," I whined. Why would Mel agree to this?

After another silent moment, Doc returned to my bedside. "Wanda," his voice washed over me again and I turned to look at him, making sure to move my head slowly. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I am going to have to suggest that you be on complete bed rest until I can be sure of your diagnosis. If the supplements seem to help in a few days, then I will feel safe saying that we have found the issue. But until then.." he trailed off apologetically.

I didn't say anything, mainly because I would do anything not to pass out again. It was a terrible feeling. I suddenly remembered my head.

"How bad did I get my head?" I asked him.

"Oh, you did quite a number," he shook his head. "When Jared brought you in you had lost a decent amount of blood. Head traumas can be rather dangerous. Which is why I want you in bed, and only walking with escorts. The floors in these caves aren't very forgiving."

I nodded slightly in agreement, because the feeling of my head hitting the floor with a very audible crack was still very memorable.

"Also, Wanda," Doc added. "I still believe the reason that you blacked out the first time was due to stress. You need to try and relax, not get yourself worked up. That will only confuse me when trying to diagnose you."

I sighed, "Then someone should have kept Jamie here."

I arrived back in our room safely in Ian's arms. He sat me upright on our bed and kneeled on the floor before starting to root through the box he had placed in our room this morning. I glanced up at our crack in the ceiling and noticed it was nightfall.

"How long was I out?" I asked him as he turned towards me holding the last bottle of Health.

He stared at it as he answered, "A while."

I waited for him to continue. He seemed to be attempting to gather strength.

"Jared heard your," he stopped to swallow thickly, "head hit from down the hall. He rushed you to Doc. Jamie came and found me. I ran to you." He paused to take a shaky breath. "When I came in they had you turned over and all I could see.. was blood... all over your head and through your hair.." a violent sob broke through his chest as he finally looked up at me with tears again. My chest constricted at the thought I was making him agonize this much.

"Wanda, I thought.." his voice shook and he paused. His icy eyes bore into me desperately and he tried again. "I thought it would be too late."

He looked down and shook his head. I reached out caressed the side of his face, trying to reassure him with my touch that everything was alright now.

"Candy was amazing. She had you fixed up in no time. I talked with Doc and we decided to keep you out for a while, so you could rest." He looked up at me again. "You have to stop scaring me like that." He dropped the bottle and threw his arms around my waist and I clutched him to me. I felt terrible for worrying him so much. "I don't know what I would've done..."

"I am so sorry, Ian," I murmured to him and squeezed him closer. His embrace tighten as well and we stayed that way for a while. I wanted to comfort him and tell him everything would be ok, but I was afraid to make promises I wasn't sure I could keep. Not until Doc knew for sure what we were dealing with.

"I'm fine now," I said as convincingly as I could. "And the baby is ok," I reminded him.

At the mention of the baby, Ian finally pulled back and picked up the bottle he'd dropped off the floor.

"So, what will it be then? Chocolate or strawberry?" he asked, forcing a smile. I glanced inside at the assortment and thought neither, but forced the grimace from my face and grabbed a chocolate one. He smiled a real smile then as he placed the bottle with the remaining tablets and sat next to me.

I bit off half of the vitamin and started to chew. The taste was actually pleasant, but what else could you expect from the Souls? I was just grateful it didn't trigger any upheaving. Ian's smile grew as I continued to chew.

"Candy said that these should help. They have an extra boost of all vitamins, even though they do have a supplement especially for iron deficiency," Ian told me.

"Do they have the speciality bottles in the stores?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "She said they are only available at the hospitals or clinics, that they must be given to you by a Healer."

I looked at him nervously. "Which one did Jared say they would get?"

Ian shrugged. "He didn't say, but I would assume both."

I hung my head. Jamie should be in school, or anywhere except on a raid. I maybe wouldn't worry as much if they were just going to a few stores and getting the Health bottles, because I knew Mel would be the only one involved in that task. But if they were also going to be lurking outside hospitals, Jamie would definitely be participating.

Ian reached over and rubbed my back affectionately. "Wanda, don't do this, don't worry. You heard Doc."

I sighed in defeat and looked up at him. "I know, I'll try not to." He looked pointedly at the other half of the pill that was still in my hand. I laughed and popped it into my mouth, earning another smile from him.

Two days passed without incident. I ate two supplements a day and often was successful at getting down something salty. Cheetos were ironically one of my favorites. Ian carried me everywhere, refusing to escort me the more practical way. I was beginning to worry my legs would soon atrophy from inactivity.

Ian was currently carrying me to see Doc.

"No trouble today, Wanda?" he asked hopefully as we entered.

"No," Ian answered cheerfully. He had been given reprieve from work duties to be at my side and he never failed to be otherwise. I had actually enjoyed the last couple of days minus the nausea. Spending so much uninterrupted time with him had been wonderful.

"Good," Doc said contentedly. "I hope this means we can assume we have found the problem. I would still prefer bloodwork..." he trailed off longingly. I couldn't help but smile at him. He was so dedicated to his work and it worried him to no end that he might be getting this wrong.

"Don't worry, I trust you Doc," I told him.

He looked at me appreciatively but shook his head. "Thanks, but I trust facts, and right now I don't have any."

I gave up trying to console him. "So do you think it's ok to walk now?" I asked as I smiled at Ian from the corner of my eye.

"Sure, but you do still need someone to sit with you and provide escort. I don't feel comfortable with you being alone just yet."

I slid down off my cot and stretched my legs. Ian moved closer to me worriedly. "I feel fine, don't worry," I tried to convince him as I stood on my tiptoes to lengthen my calf muscles. They protested at first but soon felt good enough to walk. I took Ian's hand and guided him toward the doorway, making sure to take it slow enough to appease him.

"Thanks, Doc, see you tomorrow," I called over my shoulder.

Ian and I walked side by side in silence for a while. I was arguing internally with myself about when I could start to justify worrying about Jamie's return. Most of our trips could take as long as three weeks, but that was for a large raid and would stock us for months. Surely they weren't planning on getting anything that big on this trip. If that was the case, which I was hoping for, they shouldn't be gone longer than a couple more days. I sighed sadly and Ian noticed.

"Wanda," he warned. He picked up on my mood easily now, having spent every hour with me over the past few days. I gave him a weak smile in acknowledgment and tried my best to push it from my mind.

"It's hard not to think about," I admitted. "If only he hadn't gone."

"They have medical supplies with them now. If anything like last time happened, it wouldn't be a problem."

"I know, but there are numerous things that could go wrong," I complained.

Ian squeezed my hand reassuringly. "You shouldn't be thinking that way. He is only thinking about you, wanting to help. And he is getting older now, Wanda. I wouldn't be surprised if he started going on even more trips here soon."

I groaned and watched the floor as we walked. I knew all of this, but wanted to wish it all away. All I could picture was how young and innocent he was, especially in Mel's memories. I wanted him to keep what was left of that innocence as long as possible, to stay carefree. Obviously the Souls' invasion had disrupted most of his youth, but I wanted so desperately to restore some of it for him. This did not include his involvement in raids.

I sighed determinedly and told myself worrying did nothing for Jamie's situation and was not healthy for mine. I placed my hand over my still flat stomach instinctively.

As we arrived in our room he wrapped me in a lingering hug and kissed the top of my head. I relaxed into him, so thankful for his presence.

_Drop a review, tell me what ya think!_


	14. Chapter 14

_Disclaimer: Blah blah blah blah (translates to SM owns Host, not me)_

_A/N: So, thanks to everyone who is keeping up with my story. I am so glad I am able to write something half-way worth reading._

_Mediate89, my super-duper beta, rocks. These chapters would not be nearly as polished without her. (See first few chapters as Exhibit A - well wait, don't, they literally embarrass me now)_

ch14

I woke in the blackness of the night to the all too familiar feeling of having to use the restroom and sighed in frustration. "Are you kidding me? Again?" I asked my body.

I maneuvered my way from underneath Ian's heavy arm and slid off the bed. I turned to wake him but stopped to take in his sleeping form instead. He looked so peaceful. I knew my pregnancy complications were wearing on him and I felt guilty for putting him in such a position. Granted, he was excited about the situation, minus the fainting of course, but I knew that my complications were putting a strain on him as well.

It had been nine days since my last disastrous episode and Ian still watched my every moment, which also meant he dragged himself out of bed every time I had to take a trip to the restroom in the middle of the night. I knew he needed some rest and I was pretty confident of my ability to reach the restroom and back safely, so I grabbed the flashlight and quietly stepped out of the room.

I was careful to aim the light low and not to shine it across doorways as I made my way down the hall. My mind inevitably went back to Jamie and how it had also been nine days since I had seen him last, waving to him in the lobby area. I frowned at the memory, longing for a newer one. Ian and many others had tried to reassure me that Jared was just being Jared, making sure to have enough of what I needed before coming back. I knew they were probably right, but their assurances didn't give me any peace of mind.

Ian was starting to worry as well, but for a slightly different reason. I only had three Health tablets left. They would last me another day and a half, and after they were gone... I wasn't sure what I would need to do. That thought worried me as well, but Jamie's prolonged absence weighed a little more heavily on my mind.

I was rubbing a bit of cool water on my face after completing my task when I heard voices from somewhere in the distance. My head perked up and I strained to listen. It was silent again. Maybe someone in the nearby hall was awake, or talking in their sleep. I shook my hands to rid them of the last few drops before picking the flashlight up and making my way toward the exit.

I was entering my own hall when I heard voices again. I froze immediately, because I was almost positive I had heard Mel's voice. My old voice, I would recognize it anywhere. I turned, deciding I should at least check the back entrance. If Mel, Jared and Jamie were truly home I wanted to know, not to mention that the possibility they were here would never have allowed me to return to sleep.

I tried to pace myself on the way there. I had not attempted to move all that quickly in a while since I was always with Ian, but my feet moved fast anyway. It was all I could do not to break into a full run.

I finally found myself near the rear entrance and slowed to a walk. I hadn't heard any more voices since I started my mad dash to the area and I suddenly worried I had made a bad decision. It certainly wasn't my wisest moment- investigating noises alone in the middle of the night.

I was creeping slowly by the time I turned into the mouth of our cave and could now see pale moonlight that reached into it. I sighed miserably when I saw that there were no forms moving about in the scant light, not even unfamiliar ones. I wondered whose voice I had heard then. Lily's? It would make the most since, considering she had the most obviously reason to be awake at this hour. I gave the area one last look before turning back around and took one step in the opposite direction before I froze.

"Wanda?" a voice had asked behind me. I froze.

Afraid I was now suffering from delusions as well as fainting episodes, I turned slowly. I truly wasn't expecting to see anyone as I had just looked only seconds before, but sure enough, there stood a gangly boy with black hair falling into his eyes. My heart leapt as I smiled at his figure and I let out a long and gigantic sigh of relief. I walked quickly to him and pulled him into my arms.

"Jaime! I was so worried! Why on earth did you go?" I asked, still squeezing him.

"Wanda," he said as if somewhat embarrassed at my worry. "I am fine. You shouldn't worry about me."

I released him so I could see his face again. "I know, but I do it all the same."

He smiled at me and I saw Mel and Jared approaching from behind him. Mel's face was blank but Jared wore a grimace of sorts. His lips were pressed tightly together.

"What took you so long?" I inquired, looking between Jamie and the approaching couple.

"Just stocking up for you," Jamie replied a little too exuberant.

I studied him with narrowed eyes but he just smiled and started to guide me away from the opening. I walked with him and listen to him fill me in with everything they had gotten. It turned out they had not been able to find the iron tablets outside at the first clinic they had visited, even after waiting and coming back the next day. They finally decided to travel to the next town where they had more luck. He went on excitedly about how easily Mel had gotten the Health inside the stores, and how they now had everything I needed.

I noticed throughout his story telling Mel and Jared kept a few paces ahead, not making any movements to turn and smile at something Jamie said or adding any comments of their own. I decided to just note the odd tension and approach Mel in the morning. Whatever was plaguing them was evidently not an emergency or they would alert everyone. I hugged Jamie tightly once more before returning to my room.

I had to grin at Ian when I tiptoed back into our cave and found him unmoved. Relieved I had made there and back unscathed I carefully lifted him arm and moved into my spot against his chest. Feeling more secure snuggled up to him and filled with the relief of Jamie's safe return, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning as my mind pulled itself from the night's slumber, I became aware of hushed voices outside my door. I then realized that Ian was not behind me in bed or in the room at all. It only took a moment to realize that his voice was one of two whispering outside. I had to listen for a bit longer before I discerned that the other belonged to Jared. I was not able to hear their conversation, only catching a random word here or there, but I assumed it had to do with the Mel and Jared's odd behavior last night. I began to worry that the situation was more serious than I had first guessed.

The conversation lasted another five minutes and just as I was considering interrupting them to find out exactly what was going on, retreating footsteps sounded followed by Ian's appearance in the door. He smiled apologetically as he reached me, bending down to kiss the top of my head. He was holding a bottle somewhat similar to the Health bottle in his hand. I sat and waited patiently as he opened it and retrieved an orange tablet, handing it to me before sitting on the floor next to the bed.

I cringed at the thought that the long awaited iron supplement would have an orange flavor as I examined it in my hand. Fruit or fruit flavoring had not set very well with me so far. My hesitation made Ian squirm somewhat.

"Just take it, please," he almost begged.

I met his eyes. "I want to know what's going on first," I bargained.

He frowned, obviously reluctant, and I was glad I thought to create a bartering chip. I sat and watched various expressions cross his face before resignation took up a more permanent residence. He took a deep breath before starting.

"I need you to promise me something first. What's going on, it isn't a huge deal or anything, but it might make you worry or become a little stressed, and we can't have that. We finally have the supplement and I want to be able to put all the of pregnancy worries behind us." His eyes pleaded with me as they darted back and forth between mine.

"I promise that I'll try not to worry, but _not_ knowing what is going on is surely just as stressful as knowing, if not more," I reasoned.

He looked at me for another moment before letting a large breath of air escape his lungs. "I guess your right."

Ian studied a crack in the floor for a moment. When his eyes returned to mine they were almost blank. I knew he was trying to put on a mask of casualness to elicit the same reaction from me, but I continued to wait for my answer.

"When Mel was in the store getting more Health along with a few other things, she kept receiving strange looks from a man who was also shopping. She kept her cool, made her selections and left. When she was loading the supplies into the car, she and Jared both noticed the man watching her again." He paused for a moment to gauge my reaction, then continued. "They said he followed them for a while. They think he was probably a Seeker because he was very careful to keep a good amount of distance. They had to sleep in shifts when they stopped to make sure he didn't sneak up on them. He followed them for two days before they lost him and finally felt safe enough to come back here. Mel is pretty sure that they lost him, but Jared feels uneasy."

I wasn't sure what I felt. I was glad that they were here safe but also scared that Jared's precognition would turn out to be true. My stomach was turning and I was almost positive it would take a miracle to get the iron tablet down successfully now. Ian finally spoke again.

"Mel seems to think that this guy recognized her. She feels like maybe there are people looking for her. Or, actually, for you."

My head fell as I took this in and long, loose blonde waves framed and hid my face. Hadn't they given up on me a long time ago? Didn't they stage a scene of some sort to mislead the Seekers? Why would they be looking now, a year later? It didn't make since. I tried to not let the fear overtake me, as I promised Ian I wouldn't work myself up over the information. Mel had no way of being sure about any of this anyway.

"I thought all of that was taken care of. Why would she think they are still looking for me?" I asked without looking up.

"She doesn't know for sure, but it was the impression she got."

"But they lost him, so there's no need to really worry, right?" I asked, trying to will it into reality.

Ian lifted himself from the floor and sat next to me on the bed, pulling me into his arms as he tried to console me.

"Right. So don't worry about it. We are well hidden here and will have add patrols for a few weeks just to be safe," he informed me.

I nuzzled my head into his chest and allowed myself to build up a sturdy, albeit slightly faux confidence in his words. I wanted to believe we were all safe down here but nothing could be taken for granted apparently.

Ian squeezed me once more before pulling me back from him to pierce me with his sapphire stare. "Alright, deals a deal."

It took a moment for it to register but once it did, I allowed a wimpy moan to escape. I glanced back down at the tablet in my hand before bringing it slowly to my nose. It surprised me when it didn't smell exactly like oranges, even though it still held a hint of citrus. I closed my eyes and placed it gingerly on my tongue. Immensely happy it didn't trigger nausea, even though the obvious fruit flavor still made it more than unappealing, I tried to place the taste.

_Tangerine_.

Ian's skeptical eyes gave way to relief when he saw I could handle it. He must have noticed the color or smell even before I had and had his own doubts about my ability to keep it down. I smiled at him because I hadn't noticed he was aware of my aversion to fruits. Of course, I had an aversion to just about everything, but the fact that he knew so much about me warmed me some.

I forgot about everything out the caves for a moment, or outside our room for that matter.

_Yay, Jamie is safe! Take a sec and leave me a review, tell me what ya think!_


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Host.

A/N: As always, thanks to Mediate89 - my beta. What would I do without you?

So, if you aren't into preggo lemonade (or over the age of 18)... you might want to stop after the break.

I skipped some time in this chapter and will be doing this more often to keep the story moving.

ch15

All the hype surrounding the mysterious Seeker died down a week later. Three weeks after that, Jeb, Jared, Ian, Kyle and Brandt met to discuss whether or not the double guard duty was still needed. I sat with Mel quietly in the corner of Jeb's room, listening. The room was impossibly filled with the large men and we were making ourselves as small as possible while they went back and forth over the decision.

"I don't think we should ease up yet. That guy knew something," Jared made his point again. He still felt anxious about the situation even though it had not caused any problems so far. Knowing Jared, however, I knew that he was more than thorough and it would take a lot longer than four weeks to ease his mind.

"There aint enough guys to keep running 'em ragged like this," Jeb argued. I could tell he wouldn't mind keeping the extra patrol but was putting his people and their state of well-being first.

"I can help now," Ian offered. "Doc has cleared Wanda. I would prefer to be with her, but I would also like to know that we are all safe in here. Would that help?"

Jeb considered this for a moment before looking around at the other men in the room. "Well, what do the rest of you think?"

The general consensus seemed to be to keep up the grueling guard schedule. I ached at the thought that I was causing this. And at the thought that now Ian would be out there putting himself at risk with the rest of them. I looked down to study the texture of the floor, consumed in self-loathing.

Mel, knowing me too well, draped one of her arms across my shoulders tugging me closer to her. She was trying to reassure me without interrupting the ongoing conversation, but it only made me feel worse. I had brought her into this mess. And it was her body that was noticed - because it was the one they gave me. If possible my head sunk even lower.

Jared had decided that future trips would not be made anywhere close to here, whether convenient or not. He said we couldn't risk being seen in the area again, not with the new development. Keeping suspicion away from caves was vital. This was an issue because there would be a need for one in the next week or so. We were already having to eat the broth soup every few days.

Of course, that brought up a whole other issue with Ian. He was more than apprehensive about my involvement with the raid. They needed me, now more than ever because we couldn't chance Mel's appearance anywhere for a while. He knew this, I knew this, but he still found countless reasons to keep me from going.

With the passing of the last few weeks most of my symptoms had slowly dissipated. Doc and Ian were ecstatic to have me eating healthily again, even though I still had moments of caution around certain foods. Fruits, for instance, still made me uneasy. It was all I could do to continue taking the iron supplement, though Doc had promised me that in another week I could decrease the dosage to one a day.

Mel stood up beside me and offered her hand once she was standing. I took it, only then realizing that the meeting had ended. I could tell by the body language in the room that the tight security routine would be held up. That meant Ian would be participating. We waited against the wall until Ian and Jared approached us each asking for their significant other's hand. Ian and I lead the way out of Jeb's cramped room and Jared and Mel followed as we made our way back to our own.

Ian opened the red door and waited as the three of us went in ahead of him. When he entered he shut the door behind him. I sat on our bed and Ian took a seat next to me while Mel and Jared sat on the floor a few feet away, facing us. I began to wonder why they had followed us without anyone speaking a word but realized I must have missed something while zoning out during the last few minutes of the meeting.

"Wanda," Jared started, "if it is ok with you, Ian and I will patrol together and on those nights Mel will stay in here with you." I glanced at Mel who met my eyes.

"Is that okay with Mel?" I asked.

She nodded. "Of course."

"Then it's fine with me."

"Good. Our first shift is tonight, so Mel will be in here before sundown. Now, Ian, about the trip-" Jared started shifting his gaze to him, but Ian stopped him.

"One more week," he said, looking down with his shoulders slumped over.

My eyes moved to Jared who was silent for a moment, looking like he was holding back. "Fine," he finally agreed. "But no longer. You know we need supplies and you know we need her."

I placed my hand on Ian's back and rubbed large circles over it in a calming manner. "Don't worry," I whispered. "Everything will be fine. You just worry about being safe tonight." He chuckled slightly and shook his head, which was still aimed at the floor.

"Why don't you two come and get something to eat with us?" Mel suggested as she and Jared rose. I rose as well and offered my hand to Ian, more for encouragement than help standing. He took it but of course used his own strength to pull himself upright. The four of us made our way to kitchen quietly.

When I woke the next morning Mel and her cot on the floor had been replaced by Ian who's sleeping form was curled around me. A sigh of relief escaped me knowing he was back in one piece. Falling asleep the night before without him had been more difficult than I would have thought. I needed the weight of his arm across my body and the even rise and fall of his chest against me. I hadn't realized how accustomed we had become to one another, even more so after the last couple of months. I wiggled back in the bed to get closer.

This made him stir and I kicked myself for almost waking him. I had no idea how long he had slept but I knew he would need a lot more than this. Although why my subtle movement bothered him I wasn't sure because normally it took a force of nature to wake Ian. His arms tightened around me and I reveled in the automatic comfort it caused.

"Sorry I woke you," I murmured, even though I was enjoying the secure feeling of his arms.

"Mmm," was his only response. He brought his arm up to gently sweep hair away that spilled over my neck and really, everywhere, and move it away before resting his hand on my shoulder. His lips came to my neck and I felt his warm mouth form an open kiss against my skin.

I was more than surprised at the gesture, mainly because Ian had made no attempts at making any kind of move on me sexually since the onslaught the pregnancy symptoms. He had even stopped some of my advances. But even as shocked as I was, my body reacted as it should have to his actions by sighing happily and pressing further into him.

Encouraged from my reaction Ian let the hand that was resting on my shoulder begin a slow path down my arm, following it to my hand which was resting on the mattress. Still assaulting my neck, his wondering hand then slid to my stomach where it lingered for only a moment before it started to inch south.

I had taken to wearing only a t-shirt and undergarments to bed over the last few days. My clothes were not tight per se, but I found it was slightly uncomfortable to have anything around my waist, especially in bed when it wasn't necessary. This new habit now had a second useful purpose as Ian's hand had no added difficulty when reaching the top of my panties.

He lowered a few fingers beneath the hem before the rest of his hand followed. My body ground my hips back into him with anticipation and it was all he needed. His fingers found my warm center pushed in. Heat spread throughout my body as it rocked with his movements. The pressure that built coiled in my stomach from the need of release that was long overdue.

"Ian... please," I said, my usually high voice sounding heavy. His fingers buried inside me curled at his name and I cried out in pleasure.

"Shhh," he whispered softly into my ear before returning his mouth to my neck and the exposed area of my shoulder he could reach.

Only now did it dawn on me that it was clearly daylight and that people would be awake throughout the caves. If I hadn't needed him so badly in that moment I may have stopped him in mortification, but I was past that point now.

His hand underneath him snaked between me and the mattress and replaced the other's ministrations. Using his newly freed hand he slid my panties down to a point where I could kick them off. I felt him shift behind me and realized he was removing his boxers.

I was slightly confused when after he was free from his boxers he returned to the previous position up against my back. I assumed after removing our clothes he would move himself over me. I whimpered, frustrated that he was not going to continue forward as I had thought.

I felt his mouth turn up against my skin before pressing his length up against me from behind. He used the other hand to guide himself to where I needed him most before pushing into me.

I'm not sure why I had never considered another position other than having him on top of me but my mind was spinning with them now. From behind he entered me more fully than ever before and the throaty moan that fell from my lips surprised me. Ian let out a growl of his own and halted any further movement as he allowed us both to adjust to the new feeling.

He finally pulled out and entered me again but we were both more prepared this time and our moans stayed in our chests even though they were still clearly audible. Ian pulled and pushed again and his hands went to my hips to steady himself as he found a slow rhythm that would be the end of me.

I turned my head into my pillow to buffer any cries that might accidentally escape and I felt Ian bury his head into my hair and neck. I couldn't help but push back into him on his next thrust and it ignited both of us. His slow calculated movements became frantic and I met each one with my own.

He removed his lower hand from my hip and reached between my legs. As soon as his hand found the tip of my entrance I exploded. Thankful for the pillow beneath me I cried out into it as my body clenched from the power force of my orgasm. I felt myself tighten around Ian before his own release overtook him.

"God, Wanda," he uttered as his body shook behind me.

We lay there panting for several minutes, neither of us willing to move. I actually felt like going back to sleep and I was sure Ian could have as well, but he groaned as he finally pulled himself up.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he stood and found clothes to pull on.

"I start back in the garden today," he said shrugging into a t-shirt. "Promised I would start back as soon as I could."

"But you were up late last night," I countered. "How much sleep did you get?"

"Enough." He smiled at my worry in return. He sat down on the edge of the bed and smoothed my hair with his hand. "Stay in bed for a bit before you try to stand," he told me. "And promise me you will tell me if you get weak or dizzy at all today."

I nodded. He leaned down and kissed me, slowly and softly. I placed a hand behind his head and clutched him to me and attempted to deepen the kiss but he pulled away.

"I'll be back later," he winked and I sighed as I watched him leave.

I would never look at our sleeping position the same again.

Thanks to all of you that continue to keep up with the story and even more to you that take the time to review. I woulda given up a long time ago if not for the encouraging notes.


	16. Chapter 16

_Disclaimer: SM owns Host. Not me. _

_A/N: So my beta (mediate89) totally inspired this chapter. Lots of thanks to her, and lots of fluff to follow._

ch16

"Get back, Wanda. You are not carrying anything," Ian scolded as he scooted me out of the way and grabbed an armful of goods from our raid. Lacking the energy to argue, I settled for shuffling behind him.

The three week trip had worn me out. I had been vehement about my attendance during the trip, but now I was beginning to see Ian's points. It was hard not to see them. I felt tired from doing nothing - all the time. I sincerely hoped this raid would last either until I had more energy or the baby was here.

But what would I do once the baby was here? I would still have to help on raids. Would I take an infant with me? I knew without a doubt that would be insufferable. For everyone involved. However, I couldn't very well leave him or her behind. I felt my forehead wrinkle as I considered the impossible situation, giving myself a slight headache. I promised myself to consult Jared about it later. He would be helpful in figuring out the best course of action.

We walked into the entrance of the cave and I sighed in comfort. This place felt so much like home. I longed to get into my small bed with Ian. To have nowhere else in the bed to be but up against his chest. I felt a smile form on my face at the thought.

Considering Ian's insistence that I not help unload, I parted ways with my group once we reached the storage area. I longed to see my cave and made my way to it in the early morning light that was showing through bits of the ceiling.

Once in our familiar room and bed I was asleep within minutes.

When I woke in what I assumed to be the late afternoon, Ian was wrapped around me. I smiled even before my eyes would open all the way. An even bigger smile hit me as I realized that today we would be having the good food that would spoil the fastest for dinner that night. My appetite had rebounded tenfold while we were away. I had been extremely grateful for the timing because any food I could imagine was at my disposal. Mel and Ian had found my new appreciation for food very amusing. I couldn't bring myself to care.

Very curious about what was underway in the kitchen I wiggled free from Ian's arm to sit up on the bed. I stretched my arms above my head and held the position for a moment until I felt a small flutter. I gasped loudly and instinctively brought my hands to cover the small bump that barely expanded from my body.

Was that the baby!?

Ian, somehow hearing my gasp in his deep sleep, said, "What's wrong?" and sat up quickly, not fully aware of where he was.

"I felt the baby," I told him, my voice raspy.

"Really?" Ian's eyes lit up. His hands automatically went to my stomach as well and covered mine.

"I don't think you could feel it from the outside yet," I told him, but moved my hands anyway. His large hands fit perfectly over the bump, however they moved helplessly as he tried to find some way to feel what I had.

"What were you doing when you felt it?" He asked.

"Stretching," I told him. And thinking about food, I thought, but I didn't add that out loud.

"Do it again!" He practically cheered from beside me.

"Ian, I don't think you can feel it from the outside for a while yet. My book says--" I tried to warn him but he cut me off.

"Please, Wanda!" He begged.

I bit back a smile at his enthusiasm and complied, pulling my arms above my head. I watched his face as he looked back and forth between my face and his hands which were still moving slightly over my stomach, trying to find the right place to be.

I held it for a couple of minutes but felt nothing. I started to lower my arms and Ian started to pout but didn't move his hands.

"Ian," I said, palming his sandpaper cheek in my small hand, "it won't be too much longer now. Maybe just a couple more weeks."

"I know," he said defeated. His hands were still on my belly and even though I really wanted to inspect the kitchen, I wouldn't dare get up until Ian was ready. I could see by his sunken face that he felt he was truly being left out of something. I rubbed his face with my thumb a couple of times and then laid back down on the bed. Ian laid next to me with his head propped on one hand, allowing his free hand to rub mindless patterns across my bump.

I allowed my eyes to close after a few minutes of silence and began to concoct different meal scenarios in my mind. The steaks were the obvious choice. At least I thought so. Ian's voice broke me from my reverie.

"Why won't you move again?" He asked.

My eyes popped open, wondering what he meant, but when they opened I found that he was not even looking at me. He was looking at my stomach.

"At least move again for your mom," he coaxed it.

"Ian?" I said. He turned his face toward me, his eyebrows raised. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" He looked at me in confusion.

"I mean, why are you talking to my stomach?"

He smiled just a bit. "I was talking to the baby," he said, his tone adding the 'of course'.

"But the baby can't hear you," I told him guardedly. Right?

"You never know," he shrugged before turning away. "Right, baby O?"

"Baby O?" I looked at him incredulously.

"Baby O'Shea," he said without looking at me, still grinning at my mid-section.

Names. We hadn't discussed any names yet. I was more than surprised that Ian hadn't brought it up. I could think of nothing suitable for the life Ian and I had created. I knew Ian would prefer a human name, but nothing I could think of fit.

"So what do you think it is?" I asked him, curious why he chose to call it by his surname.

"I have no idea," he answered. "I kind of like not knowing, though."

"Do you have a preference?"

"No. I just want everyone healthy," he told me, then to my belly said, "Do you hear that in there? You just come out healthy and take it easy on your mom and everything will be alright."

After a moment of silence he looked back to me. "What about you, Wanderer? Do you have any inklings? Or preferences?"

I shook my head. I was in total agreement with him. As long as everyone was okay, I would be happy.

"See, baby O, we'll love you no matter what," he told it soothingly, then lowered his face to rub his nose against my belly. He pulled back then lifted my shirt so that his hand rubbed my bare skin.

"Don't forget, we need to see Doc some time today. I want to make sure everything is going well. You still seem so small," he said.

"Sure," I told him placidly. Doc was constantly reassuring us that everything, including the measurements, were right on track. Ian just needed the reminder every week. Thank goodness for Doc's patience.

We sat lost in our own thoughts for an immeasurable amount of time. Finally I asked him what had been plaguing me.

"So are there any names you've thought about?" My eyes studied his hand's movements.

"Yes, somewhat," he paused. "You?"

"Yes, but I can't think of any I like," I told him honestly. "I was hoping you had something in mind. You would be better at deciding on a name. The names I am more familiar with are not ideal for this baby."

He looked at me, his eyes twinkling. "I'm glad you trust me to name our baby, but I think we should both agree on it. Do it together."

I smiled at him. How did he have the perfect answer for everything?

"Besides," he added, "I was thinking maybe we shouldn't pick a name until we see the baby. It will come to us once we see him or her." He reached up and kissed my lips softly and then leaned back down to where our baby was snugly growing in my stomach and placed a sweet kiss on the skin there.

My stomach growled in return. Ian chuckled lightly then stood from the bed and held out a hand for me. I took it, and once standing I wrapped my petite arms around his waist and buried my head into his chest.

"Thank you," I told him, my voice muffled by his body.

"For what?" I heard him ask above me.

I turned my face up and met his eyes. "For being you," I told him. He smiled wholeheartedly before kissing me again, sweetly and slowly.

He pulled back reluctantly too soon. I fought a groan at the loss, but he started pulling me toward the door. "Let's go get you and baby O something to eat."

After dinner I followed Ian to see Doc, who of course told us everything looked good. Doc seemed as happy as Ian at the assessment, pleased that I was progressing smoothly after the setback early in the pregnancy.

We made our way quietly back into our room, changed and climbed into our bed. As we settled, Ian whispered, "I love you" in my ear, and then again to my stomach. Only a moment of silence passed before I felt the soft flutter again. And again, I gasped and grabbed my bump.

"Did the baby move again?" Ian's head popped up over my shoulder.

"Yes," I replied.

"I wish I could feel it," he admitted. "What does it feel like?"

I didn't know how to explain it. It was an amazing. "I'm not sure. Almost like a tickle from the inside."

Ian's hands replaced mine as he patiently waited for anything else that might happen. Of course nothing did, and we fell asleep, his hand over our baby and my hand over his.

_Thanks for reading! I hope I did all the talk and fluff justice. Please take a sec to leave a review, let me know if it made you ill or not_. ;)


	17. Chapter 17

_Disclaimer: Host is Stephenie Meyer's. My name is... not Stephenie Meyer._

_A/N: Yes, I live! So hubby was on vaca for a couple of weeks so I took a slight break. Sorry for the lack of warning. As always, thanks to mediate89 for betaing and making me post this in the middle of the night ;) _

_Anyway, this was a favorite of mine to write, perfect mix of fluff and suspense. Hope it is worth the wait._

Ch 17

When my eyes finally pulled themselves open in the latter hours of the morning I was not surprised to see Ian's head lying on my chest facing my ever-growing bump. It had become a routine-- waking to find him in some position that allowed him to talk to the baby. The last few mornings he had taken to retelling fairytale stories.

"So then Peter Pan makes Captain Hook walk the plank," he finished.

I reached my hand up and ran it through the dark locks at the back of Ian's neck. "That seems a bit scary for someone so little," I told him. He lifted his head, propping his chin on my chest to look at me.

"Oh, it's not that bad. Plus our baby has to know stories from my world too."

"Those aren't stories from your world. They are make-believe," I countered.

"Well, Disney is closest I'll get to competing with anything you tell it."

I smiled at his reasoning while I continued to stroke his hair. "I'm sure he or she will be very well educated then."

He reached up to kiss my lips quickly before facing my belly again. "Tomorrow morning I'll tell you all about Pocahontas and John Smith. They were from different worlds but fell in love anyway, kind of like your mom and me." He turned back to me and winked. "And they weren't make-believe either."

I sighed in defeat as Ian placed his hands on the now noticeable bump beneath my skin and rubbed soothing circles with his palms.

"Alright baby O, I got to go. I have patrol duty," he explained to my belly.

"You're up again already?" I asked, trying to keep the concern from my voice. I wasn't fond of him, or anyone for that matter, lurking around in the open desert looking for any signs of trouble. I didn't relay any of this to Ian though, because he would stay to placate me and force someone else to take his place, and I knew the rotations should be fair. I couldn't allow him to stay because he was important to me, because everyone had someone important to them.

"Yeah," Ian answered me without turning away from the baby. "Jared and I have the next few evenings. Mel will be in here later."

I nodded even though he wasn't looking at me, I guess for my acknowledgment as much as his. At least I would have Mel's company tonight. She was good at distracting me from worrying about things I couldn't control, and I would still get to wake up in Ian's arms.

"You be good to your momma for me," Ian murmured before kissing my stomach in the small space between his hands. "I love you," he said.

A sudden gasp escaped both of our mouths simultaneously as my stomach jumped in response. My wide eyes met Ian's as we both looked from my belly to each other.

"Did you feel that?" I asked even though the answer was obvious from his face.

"Yeah I did!" He all but shouted. His face was so bright with excitement it could have been an independent light source.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," Ian repeated quickly with glee laced in his voice.

I couldn't help but smile at his attempt to get the baby to repeat the action. The baby was moving a lot more now, but it would probably be a while before it moved that much again. Nevertheless, Ian was skimming his hands along my stomach afraid it would move in an area he wasn't touching, all the while telling it how much he loved it and wanted it to move again.

A knock on the door broke him from his intense focus and his head whipped around.

"Come on, O'Shea, they're waiting on us," we could hear Jared's voice complained before we even saw him. Ian quickly replaced my shirt and stood up as Jared stepped into view. "Let's get a move on."

Ian ignored Jared's impatience as he took his time to lean down and kiss me sweetly. Ian didn't believe in rushing goodbyes, and I was thankful. As soon as his lips met mine I forgot Jared's presence and wrapped my arms around Ian's neck as I clutched him to me. We would both have this moment to look back on for the rest of the night and I needed it to be worth it.

I slid my tongue smoothly against his bottom lip and his mouth open instantly to take it into his mouth. His hands came up to cup either side of my face and he tilted my face to deepen the kiss.

"All right, that's enough. You two are disgusting," Jared whined from somewhere in the distance. Ian finally pulled away to look me in the eyes.

"I love you, both of you," he said.

"We love you too," I answered on both of our behalves, because even though the baby didn't know his or her father yet, there wouldn't be a chance for it to do anything but love him. He was the sweetest, most beautiful man inside and out that any planet had ever seen.

*****

Mel and Jamie both joined me later that evening and Jamie sought the opportunity to ask me a bunch of questions about the Fire World. I had not been keeping any certain schedule with my lessons in the kitchen/dining area in order to placate Ian endless concern in my regard. Jamie had apparently made a mental list as he rattled off question after question.

He tired himself out eventually and fell asleep leaning against Mel on the wall opposite of my bed. I laughed as she carefully tried to slowly ease her way from under his ever-growing form and lower him to the ground. I normally would have offered to assist in some way, but I knew Mel would refuse. Once freed she sat next to me on the bed and mindlessly played with my hair.

"Ian got to feel the baby move today," I told her, a smile creeping onto my face as I remembered his reaction.

"Oh, that's awesome," Mel cheered softly. "Is it moving now?" She asked.

"I don't know, really, it seems to be spontaneous for the most part," I explained.

Her hands dropped from my hair and she held them out above my belly. "Do you mind?"

"No, of course not," I replied. I still felt like I was part of Mel and she was part of me, even if we were separated now, even more so due to the limits of my pregnancy. She and Jamie felt like family to me more than anyone, anywhere.

She laid her hands on my stomach and waited patiently in the still of the evening for a while. My mind wondered to where Ian and Jared currently were and what all the "patrol" entailed, although I knew part of me was grateful for that ignorance. It would be so much worse to tell Ian goodbye if I knew what they were really getting themselves into.

I looked over at Mel as she concentrated on my belly, waiting. "You know," I began, feeling a slight smirk form, "you can grow one of these for yourself."

Mel's eyes slowly widened before looking up at me. "Bite your tongue," she said in return.

"Well, I thought you may have changed your mind. Doc told me that a few of the other pregnancy tests had been used when we requested ours. You two seemed like an obvious culprit," I reasoned.

She didn't respond or move her hands. It was at least a full minute before I realized what her silence meant.

"Mel?" I asked, my voice somewhat shocked. Even though I had assumed it in my own head, her admission was something else.

She finally looked at me. "Fine," she huffed. "We did use one, but it wasn't our intention."

"Neither was this," I reminder her. "How long ago was it?" I wondered out loud.

"About six months ago," Mel recalled easily. "We were so nervous. That test is nerve-wracking."

"Do you think you would have been happy, if it was positive," I asked.

"Maybe eventually," she replied. "But Jared and I made up or minds a long time ago it would be better not to have that additional worry. I mean, who knows how long we can manage something like this down here."

I was slightly taken back by her words. I had always assumed this place was permanent. Even with the seeker we sent back into space, and the one who may be on alert now, I never really allowed myself to consider any other outcome. Instinctively I placed a hand over my stomach as these possibilities invaded my mind but snapped out of it when I felt Mel's hand already there.

"Hey, it's ok," she tried to comfort me, my expression apparently alerting her of my concern. "It will probably be fine. Jeb has a good system, and we have the guys patrolling. This is the last place they will come looking for us. I just... don't want to tempt fate is all."

I nodded, but felt slightly ill. What would my child face in the future? Would Jeb's community last generations?

"Wanda," Mel captured my attention again. "Everything will be alright. You two aren't the only ones bringing new human life into this world now. Humans won't let themselves just die off. We all believe that there is a chance for some kind of redemption, or at least a possibility of a peace treaty."

I didn't respond, because I didn't want to do anything to relinquish any of Mel's hopes or ponderings, but I knew none of what she said was a possibility. The Souls could not be defeated. They were advanced to humans in every way. And they would certainly not accept any kind of treaty, as they believed the humans to be hostile, and most importantly needed them as hosts.

I knew Mel knew as much as I did, so I assumed she was humoring me. I forced the issue from my mind, because our baby was on its way and there was no turning back. And thinking about it, even if I had considered all of these worrisome reasons to not bring a new life into the world, I wouldn't take it back. Not after feeling the small life move within me, watching Ian's excitement over every small development and watching my belly stretch and grow.

I smiled inwardly at my ability to calm myself, to be comforted by knowing this was what I wanted, no matter what.

The baby moved in my stomach just then, and Mel jumped at the feeling.

"Whoa!" She exclaimed as she automatically pulled her hands back. "That was awesome," she said a bit lower in an attempt to not wake Jamie. "It must be getting big."

I nodded proudly, enjoying the fact that I was sharing this with Mel. She would never experience this on her own and I was glad she would be here with me during mine.

A short time later sleep swept us up.

When I woke the next morning I felt bare for a moment before realizing it was due to the fact that Ian's arms weren't wrapped around me. I sprang forward in bed and looked to find Mel and Jamie gone. Confused as to everyone's absence I stood, pulled on clothes and walked hurriedly out the door.

As I neared the lobby I knew that was where everyone was as the low humming of voices reached my ears. Once the crowd was in sight I saw Jared, Ian and Jeb standing up front, the place where I had been brought before a mock trial when I was first brought here in Mel's body. Standing close by were the rest of the men who rotated security duties, all in conversation.

I made my way to Ian quickly but didn't like what I saw in his face when he caught sight of me.

"What is going on?" I asked him as I approached, looking around. Everyone was here. "And why didn't you wake me?"

He sighed heavily before taking me in his arms. I entered them eagerly, bracing myself for whatever he had to lay out before me and the rest of our community, but just past his arm a movement on the ground caught my eye.

I moved to get a better look, pushing my head past Ian's large arms. On ground, bound with rope, was person I did not recognize, but I knew immediately who it was.

The Seeker.

I looked back up to Ian who slowly nodded in confirmation, then looked back to the prisoner. The Seeker noticed my eyes and squinted at me accusingly as he fought his restraints.

"Is this the one that Jared and Mel saw?" I asked without looking away.

"Yes."

"What is the plan?" I asked. I knew it would be treated kindly, mostly out of respect for me, but I knew they would also want information from him.

"Jeb wants to question him. If we don't get anywhere, then maybe try to take him out and see if his body is alert at all," Ian explained quietly.

I looked back at him. "When do we start?"

_Let me know if ya liked it!_


	18. Chapter 18

_Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Host (and the universe)_

_A/N: Thank you to Mediate89 who makes me write, then fixes it for me. :) She has super-duper beta powers._

_(Another small note at the end)_

ch 18

I stood against the wall in the hospital while Ian, Kyle and Jared forced the Seeker onto a cot. He was somewhat short, perhaps only 5'8" and therefore dwarfed in the presence of the other three larger men, but he still put up a good fight. He kicked and struggled against them, even though he was bound and abundantly outnumbered.

When I saw him realize what we were bringing him here for, I worried that he might destroy himself and his host in an attempt to preserve any information. However, as I watched him from the corner of my eye he never seemed to even consider it. I wasn't sure if it was because he was too he was cocky or afraid.

I wanted to laugh almost, watching the struggle between the men while Jeb stood only a few feet away watching the scene unfold with complete indifference. As if he saw this type of thing everyday and that this had no possibility to destroy his home he had spent years developing. Perhaps he was as cocky as the Seeker. Or as scared.

"Sit still or I'll break your legs," Kyle growled at the struggling man.

"Kyle," Ian hissed under his breath at the threat.

"Do you have any better ideas to make him stop because I would love to hear them," Kyle shot back.

I pushed off the wall and took slow, even steps in their direction. Kyle noticed me first and rolled his eyes, waiting for my admonishment at his behavior, but that was far from my intent. While I could never hurt anyone, even this Seeker who threatened my entire family, I also would not sit back and watch him destroy any future we had here. That my child had here.

Ian had told me about finding the Seeker in a desert not too far from the nearest town. Jared didn't think he knew where he was going or what he was looking for, but the fact that he was willing to trek into the desert alone said enough about his intent on finding us that he felt like he had to bring him in.

The Seeker was filthy, having spent a majority of the last day or so in the desert. His hair seemed to be a medium brown but it was hard to tell with the dust that clang to it. His clothes were covered in a film of dirt as well.

He finally noticed my approaching figure and stilled, looking me up and down.

"Is that you, Wanderer?" He asked spitefully.

"Yes," I answered evenly.

"What happened to your other host?"

"I gave her back. This one no longer had an original occupant," I explained.

"How could you do this? How could you turn your back on us?" He accused.

I had no response for him, at least not one that he would understand. Instead I watched him as he struggled to keep something in. Finally it burst from him.

"Where is she? Where is Sails the Stars?"

"Sails the Stars?"

"Your Seeker!" He spat. "She was my partner. At least, she and my host were together before our insertion. Afterward she stayed with me, even though she was distant to some extent. But she stayed with me. Until you.

"She told me about you, how you were weak and that she knew that you fought with your host," he continued. "She left after you disappeared. She wouldn't return my calls, wouldn't come home. She was devoted to finding you. And I know she did. She had to, because she would have never stopped looking. So tell me, WHERE IS SHE?" He shouted the last bit.

I stood slightly stunned. I had no idea that she had been with anyone. I had no idea of her name for that matter.

I shook off the shock and answered him. "Sails the Stars is gone. We sent her to another planet. Her host, Lacey is still here with us."

He looked like the wind had been knocked out of him. It was a moment before he spoke again.

"Her host is still here?" He asked, his voice almost sounding hopeful.

"Yes," I confirmed.

At this information, he finally sat on the cot he had fought so strongly against. Jared and Ian backed away just a step or two, but Kyle kept one large hand clamped around his arm.

"Can I see her?" He asked after a long moment.

"No!" Kyle and Jared shouted at the same time.

"We need to know more first," Ian added evenly.

The Seeker looked up determined. "No. I will not say another word until you bring the host here," he said with fierceness before clamping his mouth together, teeth biting down audibly.

His stubborn stare alternated between the three guys and myself before Jeb said, "So go get her."

I decided to fetch her myself. As I wound my way through the cave, I wondered why Lacey had never spoken of the man being held here. She never mentioned a husband or the fact that his body now held a Seeker as well. Of course, I had not made an extreme effort to reach out to her as she was nearly as intolerable as Sails the Stars, but surely she would consider this useful information to us.

I found Lacey in the kitchen finishing her lunch. I figured she, along with nearly everyone else that had gathered when he was brought in, had not seen the face of her previous husband or she would have been involved by now. She was standing from her seat when I walked up.

"Lacey, could you come with me?" I said quietly, hoping not to attract too much attention.

She froze, afraid of whatever was happening that would make me approach her. I watched as she swallowed thickly before following me without a word.

She walked cautiously a few feet away from me. I knew she was still uncomfortable around me, although I would have like to believe that my allegiance was obvious by now. Sails the Stars had evidently given her a healthy fear of Souls.

I stopped her before taking the final tunnel that would take us to Doc, debating whether or not to explain the situation before hand or not. It felt proper to warn her of what she would see, but at the same time she might refuse to even enter the room, which was vital in getting him to talk.

I went with honesty.

"Look, Lacey. The Seeker we brought in, he has asked to see you. He knows that the Soul is no longer in you, that you are yourself now. All the same, he says he won't talk until he sees you."

She took a deep breath before nodding. I slowly fed her the rest.

"It is going to be hard," I warned. "He is your husband."

"Daniel?" She said breathlessly before her hand flew over her mouth. Her eyes brimmed with tears and I suddenly realized why she had never mentioned him.

Her heart was broken. It was the same story heard too many times in this establishment; the loss of a loved one to a Soul. Sure they were out there, living and breathing and walking around, but for all purposes they were gone. And therefore hardly spoken about-- it hurt too much.

Lacey's heart was broken. It was a side of her I could hardly imagine due to the abrasive persona we all saw, but I watched as large crocodile tears slowly spilled over. I patted her arm soothingly, not sure how best to comfort her. She didn't seem like the type to wrap her arms around someone in a hug.

"Do you need a minute?" I asked her.

She dropped her hand, pulled in a slow, deep breath and released it, then said, "No. Let's go."

We finished the remaining distance to the hospital, walking in to find the Seeker in the same position he had been in when I left. I saw Lacey as her body almost instinctively went to him, but she stilled herself in the next second.

The Seeker looked up as we entered and let his longing eyes fall on the woman at my side. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead they just stared at each other in palpable silence. As the quiet moment was drawn out to a maddening length, Jeb spoke up. "Alright. You got to see her. Now start talkin'."

Both of them started at Jeb's voice and turned to look at him. The Seeker made no move to speak so Jared encouraged him.

"Were you alone?" He asked.

The Seeker met Jared's eyes for a moment before they flashed back to Lacey and finally landed on the ground. "Yes."

"So no one else knows where you are?" Jared followed up.

"Well, I don't know about that. I would say quite a few people know how determined I am to find Sails the Stars." He looked back up into Jared's eyes determinedly. "I bet they are wondering where I am right this moment."

Jared's jaw clenched at the comment. "How many know where you went to look?" He asked, each word strained.

The Seeker shrugged, seeming unconcerned with Jared's menacing voice.

"Listen here," Kyle fumed as he jerked the Seeker's arm and lower his face to his. "You quit talking, and we lose our reason to keep you around."

Lacey and I flinched simultaneously at the threat.

"What happens if I tell you everything then?" He asked humorlessly. "You'll let me go?"

"Yes," Jared answered him, calmer now. "You will be sent to another planet. Just as Sails the Stars was."

He snorted in response, but Jared's answer had jolted Lacey from her silence.

"What about Daniel?" She asked, her voice breaking on his name. "Is he still in there?"

The Seeker turned his gaze to her and it softened noticeably. The fact that he was torn between answering her and keeping up his aloof facade was written all over his face. The need for preserving himself won out in the end and he turned away as if she had not even spoken.

"Well, guess we are finding out the hard way," Kyle all but grinned.

The Seeker's mask was cracking as he realized that everyone seemed to be done trying to press him for answers. He glanced around the room nervously, watching for any sign of his end, but he never saw Doc who made himself scarce until now. He walked stealthily up from behind and sprayed the Deep Sleep in his face, then caught him as he slumped in unconsciousness.

Lacey sobbed loudly then, her strength gone. I led her to another cot and sat down next her while she attempted to gather herself.

"Was he taken before or after you?" I asked her.

"At the same time," she choked through her tears.

"There is hope for him then," I tried to sooth her. I wasn't overly sure in my statement, I didn't know if the length of time had anything to do with it or of it was strictly stronger personalities that were able to stay present, but I thought he had as good of a chance as any. She nodded, trying again to calm down. Doc and Ian were already prepping the Seeker for his extraction, spraying clean over the back of his neck before a thought occurred to me.

"Wait!" I said. They both looked up at me in confusion. "What happens if Daniel isn't there anymore? What will we do?"

They looked at each other and then down to Daniel's limp body lying face down on the cot.

"Then he's dead anyway," Lacey said, her voice sounded out with a ring of finality in it. "You are not putting that thing back in there."

"Lacey," I said sadly, not being able to bear the thought of lying another cold body in the ground outside.

"No." She turned to me. "No."

Everyone looked to Jeb then, who shrugged. "He belongs to her. She makes the call."

Doc and Ian turned back to each other and began their preparations again, this time much more hesitantly as the thought of taking a man's life now weighed on them.

With a heavy sigh, Doc made his incision then slowly and carefully pulled the small, shimmering Soul from Daniel. Jared took it and placed it gingerly into a cryotank before sealing it up. Doc properly cleaned and closed the small opening on Daniel's neck before rolling him over with Ian's assistance. Lacey stood and made her way to his side, clutching his lifeless hand while tears made silent tracks down her face.

We all took a few steps closer to his cot, then waited with bated breath for any sign of movement.

_Oooooh! Right?_

_So me and my beta were torn about the Seeker's name. I know that Stephenie didn't name her and it was probably for a reason (trust me, me and Mediate89 discussed this for days) but we needed one for my little spin-off here so we did the best we could. Roll with it._

_Anyway, leave me note. Do you want him to wake up? Better tell me_ ;)


	19. Chapter 19

_Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Host. I own a copy of the Host. Big difference._

_A/N: I live! This was just one of those chapters that I had to force because it was not coming on its own, so of course it took me forever. My lovely beta listened to me whine about it endlessly and help me make some pretty big decisions about it, so I thank mediate89, again, for liking my little story enough to put up with me_. ;) 3

Ch 19

After the Seeker was removed the room took on a very tense and oppressive quality while we all waited. Eventually people left one by one, leaving only Ian, Doc and I, but it still didn't change the atmosphere.

I assumed the reason for the tension was that no one knew how to comfort Lacey. She was somewhat estranged from the majority of the people that occupied the caves having only a shallow comradery with Candy. She mostly kept to herself, all the while grumbling under her breath. Accordingly, none of us knew how to comfort her. It wasn't as if any of us could just walk up and throw an arm around her, nor could we tell her that everything would be alright. There was no way to know what was going to happen. Instead we listened to her quietly cry.

When Daniel didn't wake up after a few hours Ian insisted I go to bed. I hadn't realized that the whole awful ordeal had taken up the entire day and was now bleeding into the night. I walked to where Lacey was lying on a cot next to her unconscious husband and ever so lightly touched her shoulder. "Good night," I whispered to her, the only thing I knew to say. I wasn't sure if I saw her head nod slightly or not in response before I left. I sincerely hoped Daniel would wake up, that Lacey could have her somebody down in our secluded hiding spot.

I leaned on Ian as we took the familiar path back to our room. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed and feel him pull me into our embrace. Even more I wanted to forget the events of the day.

"Ian, what will happen now? Will you all still have to keep up all those heavy patrols?" I asked.

"Probably. I haven't spoken with Jared yet, but until Daniel wakes up and we can confirm that no one else was with him, we have to assume the worst."

I cringed. When I had showed Doc how to remove Souls, I hadn't really taken into account that the Host may or may not wake up afterwards. This opened a whole new can of worms. We couldn't necessarily keep pulling Souls out of unresponsive bodies only to have to bury them, but then again, how would we know who was still in there? I found myself torn between the two options. Obviously if Seekers were brought in they would have to be detained and the procedure would be attempted, but what then? I shook my head trying to erase the line of thought. There was no clear answer and fretting over it would only upset me and bring no conclusion.

Instead I looked to Ian again.

"Do you have to go back out tonight?" I asked, knowing that he would have ordinarily if the events today hadn't taken place.

"No, Jared took Aaron with him tonight so I could stay with you," he answered.

I was more than relieved, but felt guilty that I was the reason the rotations were uneven. At least most of the guys who ran around in the middle of the night for our safety didn't seem to hold any grudge against me, not openly anyway.

Just as we were settling into our bed, the baby decided to have a good stretch. I gasped loudly; the movement was much bigger than any he or she had made before.

"What?! Wanda, are you okay?" Ian's hands fluttered over me, his eyes wide.

"No, I'm fine. It was just… Baby O _really_ moved that time. It was amazing," I told him as I looked at my belly in awe.

"Oh," Ian let out a sigh of relief before he placed his hands on my stomach. A moment later a huge grin spread across his face. "You called it Baby O," he realized.

I blushed and hid my eyes from him. I had been calling it that in my mind since I'd heard it, thinking it was as suitable as any name we could come up with before he or she arrived, but I hadn't realized I had never called it that out loud.

Ian laughed at my embarrassment. "No, no. I think it's cute," he told me. I smiled at his amusement while his eyes went back to follow his hands as they moved on my expanding belly.

"You know," he started, still smirking slightly, "we're going to have to get you some new clothes soon."

I looked down at my shirt that stretched only slightly from the bump beneath. "Yeah," I sighed. "I guess you're right. I wonder if Lily's shirts will fit me until we can get something else."

Ian shrugged. "Maybe. I'm sure it would be better than wearing something too small."

I nodded.

"Is it uncomfortable now? I could run and get--"

"No," I interrupted, biting back the laugh at his eagerness to do anything for me, even if it was to wake poor, sleep-deprived Lily in the middle of the night to get me a more comfortable shirt. "This fits fine for now," I tried to coax him. He was practically already standing from the bed.

Seeming satisfied that I was comfortable he started to lie back down before he popped up again. "What about food? Are you hungry at all?"

The laughed escaped that time. "Ian, I'm fine..."

"But you were in that room almost all day and I only saw you eat once," he almost whined.

"I promise, I am perfect. I don't need clothes or food or a bathroom trip or anything else. Now come lay down with me and get some sleep. Who knows what tomorrow may be like."

He watched my face to make sure I had told him the complete truth before finally surrendering to the bed. I waited with a smile as he adjusted himself, just waiting for the inevitable moment when he would pull me into him. Finally I felt his arm slide around to the front as he snuggled me back into his chest.

Surprisingly, after the long, emotionally taxing day we had endured, we were both asleep almost immediately.

We awoke sometime later to Jared knocking loudly on our door and announcing his presence.

"Come in," Ian groaned from behind me.

"Listen, you guys should come back down to the hospital. It's been eighteen hours since the Seeker was removed and there still isn't any sign of Daniel. There is a debate going on about how to handle this." Jared's words rushed out.

Both Ian and I sat up at once, me only slightly slower. "We'll be there in a minute, tell them to wait," I instructed. I had no idea what we would do once we arrived, but I felt like we should be part of the decision-making process.

After a short detour to the restroom to relieve my crushed bladder, we found our way to the hospital. Half a dozen people were perched lazily in the hall, trying to catch tidbits from inside the room without being too obvious. We passed Lily standing out there with little Wes who was rounding four months of age. I smiled at her as we made our way through the entrance and noticed the dark circles under her eyes. I made a mental note to take Wes for a bit after this situation was settled so she could get some rest.

The thought of keeping the gorgeous baby boy made me happy for a moment, but it was fleeting, because as we found ourselves in the hospital my mood dropped drastically. The room held all the usuals, with the exception of Lacey and Daniel's unconscious form. Doc was wringing his hands nervously as I caught the drift of what was going on.

"We can't just let him waste away," Kyle scoffed. "If it were me, I'd rather take a bullet, whether I'm in there or not." I winced at his words. The debate was about how to handle Daniel's death. It seemed that everyone had assumed the worst.

I walked to Candy who was sitting next to Lacey quietly. "Can I see you for a minute?" I asked her lowly, trying not to disrupt Lacey in the process.

Candy nodded, reached over and rubbed Lacey's back up and down once, then stood and followed me to a corner. Doc noticed our conference and made his way to join us.

"The Souls have nothing for this, do they?" I asked her. I knew she would know what I meant, which was a way to kill someone. She shook her head, confirming my guess.

"No. They have every means possible to heal and save, but the only deaths now are accidents where death is immediate or ripe old age, which is natural and therefore they do not fight it."

I took a heavy breath. "And we are out of morphine?" I turned to Doc.

He nodded. "I used the last of it on poor ol' Walter, and Jared was really lucky to find any at all the last time. I doubt he would be successful again, and even then, we would likely run out of time before anyone could go get anything."

I glanced over my shoulder at Daniel, wishing he would just wake up so this wouldn't be an issue. "Has anyone discussed this with her?" I whispered, since I was facing her direction.

"No," Candy said under her breath. I turned back to her, and the expression that she and Doc both wore said they thought it would be my area to do so. I took a deep, steadying breath.

"How long did you wait? I mean, with Jodi and..." I trailed off.

"Six days with Jody, five with you," Doc said softly. "It is about as long as we can wait before the damage from no nutrition would be irreversible."

"And you don't think that he will wake up at all? It's only been eighteen hours," I pointed out.

Both of them shook their head. "Anything longer than a day is a longshot," Candy said.

I took another deep breath before looking around the room for Ian. I meet his eyes where he stood next to his brother and when he saw me he made his way to me immediately.

"Everything okay?" He asked, taking a hand and smoothing my hair back.

I shook my head. "It doesn't look good, and I need to talk to Lacey."

"Why you? Why not Doc?" He looked over my shoulder at him as he spoke.

"I think it would be better if I do it. I have the longest history with her."

"Wanda, you don't have to do this. It could be stressful and I don't want to risk your health," he said, trying to convince me with the desperation in his tone.

"It's fine, Ian, I promise. But I was hoping you would sit with me, just for support."

He sighed realizing he had lost, before nodding solemnly. I smiled reassuringly and grabbed his hand, leading him in Lacey's direction.

Lacey didn't so much as flinch when Ian and I sat down next to her.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Lacey?" I asked, keeping my voice soft and even all while trying to swallow the lump in my throat. She only nodded in response.

"I know this has got to be hard," I started, wanting to touch her somehow in a comforting manner, but unsure of what to do. I opted to keep my hands to myself for the moment. "But I was talking to Candy and Doc, and they have said that the chances of recovery are slim to none after the first day." I paused, waiting for a reaction, but received none so I continued. "It's getting close to the end of the first twenty-four hours."

She turned to me at that, her face hard. "I know how long it's been."

"I know you know," I cooed, not wanting her to become cross. "It's just that we need to consider what options there are."

"You mean ways to kill him?" Her voice raised just a bit.

"Lacey, he is already dying. I don't like any of this, but we have to think about what is best for Daniel."

"I'm not going to kill him. If he dies, then he dies, but I will not interfere. And neither will anyone else. I am not giving up on him." She jutted her chin out.

"That's fine, if that's how you want it," I replied calmly, but Ian spoke up behind me.

"You know that it could take a long time, right?" His voice was soft but pleading. "If he doesn't come around and you do nothing, he will rot away in front of you, and it could take a couple of weeks--"

"I don't care!" She shouted. "I will not give up on him!"

Ian's mouth closed audibly while all the quiet conversations that had been taking place in the room stopped suddenly.

"Whatever you want, Lacey," I assured her, patting her leg before standing up and shuffling away. As soon as we were out of earshot I looked up at Ian and said, "I don't want to be anywhere near this place for a while." He nodded in understanding and we left the room.

Eleven days later, Daniel died.

_Yikes! Don't hate me! The response I got regarding Daniel was honestly very mixed, and while talking to my beta we decided that it would make for a more original SL for him to _not_ make it. Also, the more I thought about it, Daniel not being able to tell them if anyone else was aware of the Seeker's suspicions plays into a few ideas of mine for the future._

_I also wanted to say that I have no idea how long it takes someone to die without nutrition, so I made something up. My apologies if I am way off, which would not surprise me. _

_So, after a few of my faithful review this, hopefully without profanity over me killing my first OC, I will be at 100 reviews! How amazing is that? All of you that take the time to review, you guys make my day. I love that there people out there that read and actually like what I am writing. Thanks! 3_


	20. Chapter 20

_Disclaimer: SM owns the Host._

_A/N: Shocker, I know! I updated twice within a week. After the last couple of chapters I needed a lighter one and - ta da! Of course, if it weren't for my a-mazing beta, mediate89, this wouldn't be near as pretty, so thanks to her for cleaning up after me as usual._

Ch 20

"Thanks so much, Lily. I think I have worn my biggest shirt down to its threads." I was now rounding my fifth month of pregnancy and could no longer claim to be able to wear anything I owned comfortably.

She piled up the last of her maternity clothes and placed them on the stack in my arms. "No problem." She smiled sweetly before scooping up little Wes and started following me out of her room. "It's not like I'll be using them again," she added sadly.

I half turned to give her a sympathetic look, not knowing what else to say or do. I couldn't even imagine Ian not being with me through every step of the journey. The pregnancy had been hard enough, and I knew that once the actual baby came I would be completely out of my element. It wasn't like I had natural mothering instincts. Doing any of this without him was not a possibility.

When we reached my empty room I stacked the larger clothes neatly in the corner before turning and taking the squirming infant from her arms. I was keeping the little guy so she could take a nap before working out in the gardens. I held him up against my shoulder and laughed when he pulled his little heavy head back to examine who had a hold of him. He was very wobbly but Lily had said that his neck was much stronger now and she even expected him to be sitting up soon.

"Ian will be here soon to help, right?" She asked as she looked longingly at the little boy in my arms.

"Yeah, he'll be back any minute. He had an early shift outside but he knew you were coming and wanted to make sure he was here," I said, looking at Wes as I talked. I smiled at him; couldn't help it actually. He was beautiful. I almost squealed with delight when he smiled right back.

"Yeah, he loves to smile," Lily said.

Wes heard his mother's voice and looked around for it. I watched as his face light up again with a huge smile when he saw her.

"Bye, Pumpkin," she said, kissing him softly on the head through his dark mass of hair.

"Bye, Lily," I called out as she left the room. I sat down on the bed and set baby Wes in my lap so that he was facing me while I held his sides.

Wes' wide eyes watched mine. "Hi, little baby," I cooed to him. His face stretched into a smile again which elicited a light-hearted giggle from me. He giggled in return.

"Well isn't that the cutest sound ever?" Ian said as he entered the room, eyeing the small person in my lap. He sat down next to me and the movement caught Wes' eyes. "Come here little guy," Ian said, taking him from me and holding him up in the air and swinging him back and forth.

Wes thought that was hilarious and he laughed and laughed, right before spitting up on Ian.

"Ah!" Ian cried out. I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up.

I grabbed a cloth from Lily's bag and dabbed up the mess from his arm. "You're fine. See?"

"No, I need to go wash it off. It's breast milk," he whined.

"Breast milk?"

"Yeah, we don't have any formula, so I know that's what it is." His face was crinkled as he inspected at his arm to make sure I had cleaned it off good enough.

"Why is that so gross?" I asked. It seemed perfectly natural to me.

"It just is." He laid Wes, who was blissfully unaware of his atrocious action, down on the bed beside him.

"Will it make you sick when I breastfeed our child?" I asked.

"No, no. It's not the feeding, it's the spit-up that's gross. And it would be different if it were yours."

"Why does it matter whose it is?" I asked confused.

"I don't know, Wanda. I can't explain it. All I know is that Lily's regurgitated breast secretions are on my arm."

"I wiped it off," I told him, biting back a giggle.

He grabbed the bottle of water that I had been drinking from, wetted the cloth I had used to wipe him and rubbed his arm furiously. When he finally stopped he examined his arm again. "I guess that will have to do until I can get some soap," he sighed.

I laughed again. "Even I know what a mess babies are, Ian. I think you are in for a big surprise," I said as I rubbed my belly.

He looked up at me and smiled. "I know, but it will be different when it's our kid."

I allowed Wes' small hands to grip one of my fingers as he cooed on the bed. His grip was deadly. "I guess I just don't see how it matters. I can't imagine him doing anything wrong."

"Not wrong, Wanda. It's all natural; just not all... pleasant."

It wasn't long before Wes was worn out from the stimulosus of the new environment and people and fell asleep in Ian's arms. Ian had hardly let me hold the baby since he had arrived, even after the horrible spit-up incident, and I watched with a little jealously as Ian laid him down on the bed.

"Alright, I think he's out," Ian said satisfactorily.

"Well, I get to play with him when he gets back up," I complained. "You are a baby hog."

He laughed softly. "I need the practice."

"And I don't?" I challenged.

"No, you will be a great mom. I have no doubt in that."

It was my turn to laugh. "Ian, sometimes I think you have forgotten just how long I've been here. I have no experience as a mother, not in any of the worlds I have been in, not to mention I have only been in this world for a couple of years. And I have no motherly instincts--"

"Wanda," he cut me off, "none of that matters. It's in your nature. Not you as a Soul or as a human-- just you, individually. The way you are with Jamie, with everyone; you put them first. That is what being a parent is about, and you are already an expert at that." He grinned.

I sighed heavily, wishing I was as confident as him. He chuckled lightly and shook his head at my reluctance in accepting his reasoning.

We both turned to watch the sleeping baby for a moment. There was nothing more peaceful.

"When will Lily be back?" Ian asked quietly.

"I'm not sure."

We were quiet for another long moment.

"Ian?"

"Hmm?" Ian hummed.

"Where will our baby sleep? Wes sleeps with Lily, but there isn't enough room in our little bed for anyone else."

Ian looked up at me and I could practically see the wheels turning as he thought. "I don't know. I'm sure we can figure out something."

I had been considering an option for this problem, but I knew it would not go over well, so I chose my next words carefully. "We could get a crib," I suggested. "From a store."

"I don't know, Wanda--"

"We're going to have to make another trip out anyway before too much longer. Once the baby comes I won't be able to go out on trips to get food for a while. I should make sure we are fully stocked." The whole time I was speaking Ian was shaking his head.

"You aren't going anywhere. It's not safe. We can manage with everyone else."

"Ian, don't be ridiculous. For one, I'm fine. We have all my issues under control now and I feel perfectly healthy. And two, Mel can't go. Jared has already said she needs to stay in until all of this Seeker business is taken care of."

"Wanda," Ian sighed, "I don't like it. We could manage ok without the both of you. There is no reason for you to have to go anywhere." I could hear defeat bud in his voice; he knew this was a losing battle. I knew it too, because Doc would approve of my health and Jared would insist I go.

"You know you need me to go, especially since Mel is stuck here for a while."

"Maybe Sunny could go. She should feel comfortable enough to go now," Ian said, again only arguing for argument's sake. He already knew the outcome.

"There is no way she is going out. She is terrified of leaving Kyle's side and you know Kyle isn't going out in plain sight."

Ian propped his elbows on his knees and threw his head in his hands. I felt sorry for him really, he only wanted what was best for me and the baby. But he had to remember all the others that had come to depend on me.

I reached across the slumbering baby to rub his back soothingly. "I don't mean to upset you, but we have to do what's best for everyone here."

"They made it alright before you."

"That was a dangerous way to live. There is no point in risking lives when I am perfectly capable of getting everything we need," I explained, still rubbing the tense muscles in his back.

"I'm not willing to risk you, Wanda," he pleaded, his eyes sorrowful. At that, I let it drop. He knew deep within himself that I would end up going, so there was no reason to push the point.

"I love you," I told him instead.

"Love you, too," he said quietly.

Not ten minutes later, little Wes decided he was hungry. Very hungry.

His wail could surely be heard throughout the entire network of caves. I held him to me tightly and swayed back and forth, trying with all my might to comfort him until Ian could fetch Lily. If it hadn't been for the screaming baby in the room I would have laughed at how big around his eyes had gotten at the decibel Wes was able to reach, and at how fast he agreed that I stay here while he got Lily.

I hummed to little Wes, not even sure if he could hear me over himself, but I hummed anyway. Miraculously he found two of his fingers and stuck them into his mouth which seemed to help him some.

"You're okay, little Wes. Mommy will be here soon and she makes everything better," I said in almost a sing-song voice before returning to humming my nameless tune.

About that time Ian and Lily appeared in the doorway. It was obvious they had been moving quickly to reach us, but both stopped short when they saw I had somehow gotten things under control.

"Wow," Ian breathed heavily.

Lily walked up and I handed Wes to her, my arms feeling strangely empty without him. "I'm sorry, I let the time slip up on me," she said softy.

"No problem," I replied. "Bring him back anytime."

She smiled, silently thanking me before turning and leaving. Ian walked up to me then and pulled me into his chest. I couldn't be as flush up against him as I once was as now my belly forced a space between us.

"See. I told you," Ian whispered into the top of my head. "You'll be a great mom."

_Hope you liked the adventures in babysitting ;) I figured they needed a little real-life experience, and something a little lighter. Probably be a couple more of these coming up, so stregthen you tummys for the fluff._

_Review and let me know what ya think!_


	21. Chapter 21

_Disclaimer: If you don't know that Stephenie Meyer owns the Host and its characters, you are reading the wrong fic. I only owned Daniel, who I killed, so I am back to nada._

_A/N: Alright, alright, I know. I suck. I made you guys wait way too long. To the few faithful people that actually wait for my updates, I apologize. I got sick with a cold (I know, wtf, right? Since when do people get colds in the flippin' summer?!). Anyway, I'm mostly better now and I am so happy to finally get this posted. I __love__ one of the scenes in here._

_Thanks so much to mediate89 for using your beta skills on my stuff. My offer to adopt you still stands ;)_

_Oh, just a little FYI, I also do not own any of the _What to Expect _books, only my own treasured copies which I regarded as bibles when I was preggo and raising tiny babies. Also, for those of you who have yet to experience the blessed event, a pregnancy is usually measured in weeks (40, altogether) rather than months by doctors and most books and that is why I used the week time table in this chapter. I'm sorry if it throws anyone._

_I know, shut up author lady so you can read. Right, sorry. ;)_

Ch 21

I placed Wes back in Lily's waiting arms while fighting a yawn. After I had kept him once successfully a month ago, I had been given baby duty four days a week with Trudy helping other days.

"I don't know what I'm going to do once you have that baby," Lily said as she looked over her son, who with every day looked more and more like his father.

I smiled. "Me either. I feel so unprepared."

She looked up at me. "How could you feel unprepared? You have been helping with Wes since his birth. You are more than ready."

"I know I help, but if something goes wrong I turn to you. I don't think I can handle that role, the one who everyone, including the baby, will turn to. I will have to make these huge decisions," I explained, worrying myself more the further I went.

"You have nothing to worry about," Lily tried to console me. "It's all instinct, and you're a natural."

I shook my head doubtfully and my hands went to my stomach where they could now easily rest on top of the bump that had grown there. "I don't know, but I'll guess we'll see soon enough."

*

I took my time walking back to my room, debating on a nap or reading my newest book _What to Expect the First Year_. Lily had reluctantly let me borrow it so I could at least feel somewhat prepared for the first couple of months. I had promised to return it soon because I knew she still consulted it often. I decided I should at least try to read some in order to return it sooner, although I was almost positive I would fall asleep in the process.

As I entered the hall that led to my room, my book and my bed, I noticed a steady banging coming from somewhere close by. My forehead wrinkled as I strained to figure out where the sound was coming from. As I came within a few feet of my own door I realized it was coming from within my room.

I quicken my pace and noticed the sound getting louder and louder until I began to slightly worry about what I would find, but anxious to be there all the same. When I rounded the corner into the room my jaw dropped almost audibly as I took in the sight before me.

The floor was littered with pieces of wood and from what I could make out, the debris once belonged to an old ladder. Ian knelt in the midst of the huge chucks of wood with his back to me, pounding away on two pieces in an attempt to make them one.

I stood silently in the doorway for a moment and watched as he hammered. He had removed his shirt; it was always quick to take leave when he was working on something, and the muscles in his back and arms flexed and moved effortlessly under his skin. His body was beautiful and I never passed up a chance to admire it, even if I was insanely curious as to what in the world he was doing.

I noticed the sound of hammering had stopped only after I saw him holding his product up in the air to examine it. It didn't resemble anything, only two pieces of wood nailed together. This fact must have upset him because after a quick glance he tossed it to the floor and let out a groan of frustration.

My attempt to hold back my laugh failed and a bell-like giggle escaped.

Ian flinched and turned, his expression a mixture of defeat and embarrassment.

"What in the world is going on in here?" I asked, finally taking a few steps into the room. I stopped when I reached the portion of the floor reserved for Ian's project.

"Nothing, apparently," he huffed and swatted at a piece of his ladder limbs for emphasis.

"Well, what was the attempt?" I encouraged, very curious about what he had been up to.

He stared at the floor for a moment, chagrin written all over his face. He didn't want to tell me.

I waited patiently as he avoided me for as long as possible before he mumbled, "Iwasbuildingacrib."

"What?" I asked, unable to decipher his garble.

"I said 'I was building a crib,'" he said, clearer but his voice still low, eyes still roaming the floor.

A smile slowly crept across my face. I wasn't sure I had seen him fail before, or be unsure of himself. It was endearing.

"Ian, that's so sweet. But I told you, we can just get a crib when we go out."

"I know that's what you said. This was my attempt to avoid 'going out,'" he said, looking up at me pleadingly.

"A crib built from an old ladder was not the way to convince me of that," I advised him. "This trip is needed, crib or no crib. Just like I am needed."

"I don't doubt that you are needed, Wanda. I never have. But I don't want you to go, and I thought that if I could build you this crib, give you this physical prop as a gesture of what is coming, that you would see you're better off here."

My heart ached for him, for his endless efforts to always do what was best for me. I took precarious steps around the disembodied ladder and cleared a small place in front of him. I knelt down and took his hands in mine.

"I know you are only looking out for me--"

"And baby O," he interjected, his lips fighting an upward twitch.

I smiled. "And baby O, but just because we are important to you doesn't mean we aren't important to everyone else. They depend on me. They need me, and it makes me part of this group down here." He started to open his mouth to add something but I held up my finger. "I prove my worth to those who still aren't welcoming to me by helping this way. I put them out of danger. They don't have to worry about food and other items now. And that's because of me."

He stared at me lovingly and I returned it with every ounce I could. I knew that he knew all this, that he had heard it all before, but I needed him to understand that just because we were having a baby was no reason to make everyone else that lived amongst us take unnecessary risks.

He leaned in towards me until his forehead met mine, closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

All he said was a quiet, "I know."

*

We walked hand in hand en route to Doc's quarters for an unscheduled visit after deciding it was the best way to come to a decision about my involvement with any trip. I felt bad about being so stubborn on the issue because I could tell it was eating at Ian, but I knew it was for the best that we just get this out of the way.

When we walked in Doc was looking closely at Aaron's arm. I could see a decent sized gash from across the room.

We stopped just inside the room while Doc quickly and efficiently cleaned and healed Aaron's wound and sent him on his way. I felt a slight twinge of happiness in the fact that I had made the quick fix possible in a way, that I had helped the everyday wounds be less dramatic by bringing medications from my world here.

Doc watched Aaron leave and then noticed us.

"Ah. What brings you two by? Everything alright?"

"We need your opinion on something, Doc," Ian told him, his voice surprisingly even.

"Alright," Doc agreed.

I hurried to start before Ian could. Even voice or no, I didn't want him putting a negative twist on the situation.

"We want to know if you think I would be able to go out one more time for supplies before the baby comes," I explained.

Doc studied the two of us closely for a moment, unmoving. Then with a sudden start he patted the cot next to him, beckoning me to lie down. As I complied, I noticed him get out his measuring tape in order to make an accurate guess at the gestation age of baby O.

He laid the tape vertically across my stomach, examined the number before removing it and motioned for me to sit up. "How have you been feeling?" he asked, his back to me as he replaced his tape.

"Fine," I answered honestly and glanced at Ian, daring him to say otherwise. The pregnancy had been smooth since the early iron fiasco.

He said nothing. He watched Doc, waiting for his judgment.

"What about fatigue?" Doc asked as he walked back to us and stopped a few feet away. "Have you been overly tired?"

That one threw me a bit. I slept a lot. "Describe 'overly tired,'" I requested, shocked Ian had not taken the opportunity to offer information about my sleeping habits.

"Well, it's normal for you to sleep more than you had before, but if you are sleeping any more than twelve hours per day, I would be a bit concerned."

I had no real way to keep time and I knew I slept a lot, but I also knew that I didn't sleep half of the day.

"Oh. Then no, I guess I'm perfectly normal," I said happily.

"Well, based on the measurements, I would say you are about twenty-seven weeks along," he advised. "I think you would have plenty of time to go out and get back. I don't see any reason why not. Pregnant women travel all the time. You would just have to make sure and keep your stress levels down."

"That shouldn't be a problem. Everything usually goes very smoothly," I said. "But if I wanted to wait a little longer, so that the supplies I get last long enough to get us through the baby being born and whatnot, when would you say I would absolutely need to be back by?"

Ian tensed noticeably beside me but kept his mouth shut.

"I would say you need to be back here by thirty-six weeks. Those last four weeks before the end can be tricky and I would want to make sure you were back and settled before then."

"Great," I replied. "So we have... nine weeks."

Doc nodded in confirmation.

*

Ian was quiet as we made our way to find Jared. He hadn't said a word since we had left Doc and I was starting to worry. I would rather him be complaining about the whole thing than be completely silent. I nervously twisted the piece of my hair that constantly fluttered in front of my face as I considered things to say to him, but they all seemed too desperate of an attempt to distract him. Instead I walked quietly next to him as we approached Jared and Mel's room, the first stop on our mission to locate him.

We found them both there, Mel lying on the bed with Jared sitting down by her feet. We had obviously interrupted a conversation but they both smiled and waved us in.

"What's up, guys?" Mel asked, pulling herself into a sitting position next to Jared.

"I talked to Doc," I told them. "He says that as long as we go and get back within nine weeks, I would be fine to go ahead and make one last trip before the baby comes."

Both of their eyes shot to Ian. I followed them, landing on his stoic face. I frowned momentarily, worried about him and his sudden, tight-lipped emotions, but decided that ironing out details with Jared was first and foremost. I would handle whatever was going on with Ian later.

"Well," Jared said slowly, his eyes finding mine again. "As long as you're up for it, it sure is needed."

I nodded.

*

Thirty minutes of Ian's silence later, Jared, Mel and I had made rough plans concerning our trip. We would leave in four weeks, giving us plenty of time to finalize the specifics for our trip, and be gone no longer than four weeks, getting me back here at thirty-five weeks instead of thirty-six. I was happy with our plan, feeling like everything would work out for the best.

When Ian pulled me into his chest after we climbed into bed, I finally let my questions burst from me.

"Ian, are you okay? I know you aren't crazy about this whole trip but everything will work out. You'll see."

"I know, I'm fine," he said, his voice soft.

"Are you upset with me?" I asked.

"No, of course not," he replied, pulling me closer against him. "I am more... resigned. I know this has to happen and I have decided that worrying you with my worry is not something you need."

I sighed. "I would rather you worry about me like before than be so silent." I reached up and softly rubbed his arm that wrapped protectively around my stomach and clutched me to him simultaneously.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, I just needed time to accept everything. I'm fine now. I promise." He kissed the back of my head.

"You sure?"

"Positive," he whispered.

_Worth the wait? I personally loved Ian trying to build a crib, I mean, how stinkin' cute is he?_

_So we are officially on count down for baby O. I am guessing (guess is the key word here, people) only two or three more chapters until his/her arrival, so yay! I know this makes my beta happy, anyway._

_So leave me a note, let me know whatcha think! I love hearing from you guys!_


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Host. I own… hmmmm…. Oh yeah, nada!**

**A/N: Gah! It took me forever to get this to you all. Believe it or not, my kids run my timetable and they were all about denying you this chapter. Blame them ;)**

**As always, thanks to mediate89 for being my awesome-possum beta and pushing me onward. 3**

The day before our departure for the raid I found myself regretting my stubbornness at the whole thing. Not only had the four weeks made me more miserable as I gained inches on my physic, Baby O had taken a liking to my bladder even more so as of late. I could only imagine Jared's face when I told him we had to stop every 45 minutes so I could relieve the contents of the play toy.

Mel was in the corner sulking about Jared's stubbornness, refusing to budge on her staying put this time around. I waddled to her and lowered myself cautiously next to her.

"Hey momma," she said, her new nickname for me coming out with only half as much as enthusiasm as usual.

"Hey," I said, wincing at the feel of the hard floor against my tailbone.

"Ready for tomorrow?" she asked, trying to seem somewhat positive for my sake.

"As ready as I can be. How about you?"

She blew a puff of air out of her extended cheeks before shaking her head 'no.'

"Are you really that upset about not getting to go?" I asked.

"Yes and no. I just don't like the idea of being away from Jared again. The last time we separated…" she trailed off. I knew the rest anyway. It was when she had been captured and I had been inserted.

"Mel, you know how careful we are. And you definitely know how careful Jared is. Everything will be fine."

"Did you make any headway with Sunny?" she asked, changing the subject. I guess I could understand her not wanting to dwell on it; if it were Ian and I being separated, despite the fact that I knew how efficient Ian was, I would still be a wreck.

I shrugged. "We're heading over there again tonight. I think she actually may be considering it, since Kyle is going."

She nodded. "I hope she decides to go. It would be nice to be able to depend on her while you're holed up here with that thing," she gestured toward my very expanded belly.

"We will just have to wait and see."

We turned toward the group that met diagonally from us in the opposite corner of Mel and Jared's room. There, Jared, Ian, and Kyle consulted, Jamie sitting in even though he had promised to stay for Mel. He had been adamant about wanting to go at first, but after I pulled him aside a few days later to tell him that Mel didn't need both of the main guys in her life gone at the same time, he had reluctantly agreed.

My stomach, which was now large enough to allow visuals of the baby's movements, shifted noticeably.

"Wow, that is just crazy," Mel said as she stared at it wide-eyed. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"Nah," I told her, running a hand over my belly in an attempt to calm my active baby. "It can be uncomfortable sometimes, depending on where its feet are," I explained.

Her hand joined mine on my belly as we both worked to sooth Baby O. I loved that Mel had been so involved with the pregnancy and been so supportive, it almost felt like we were going through it together.

"Ready, Wanda?" Ian's voice washed over me before I saw him move to my side to help me up.

"Yep," I grunted as I stood with his assistance.

"See you, Mel," I said over my shoulder as we left the room behind Kyle. We followed him to his room where we were hoping to finally convince Sunny to go along on the trip.

Ian had approached Kyle about the idea last week, stating that he wasn't sure how long it would be after the baby was born that I would finally be able to go out again, and that with Mel out for the time being, we needed someone who could easily get the things we depended on.

No one wanted to go back to the old way. And no one wanted to chance trying it the new way. Other than Mel, everyone found it extremely frightening to walk among the Souls. Even Ian and Jared weren't up to it.

Jamie had offered, of course, to which Jared, Mel and I all gave a resounding 'no.'

Kyle had not been crazy about involving Sunny, but had at least seen the truth in Ian's statement. He had told us last night that she wasn't totally opposed to the idea, but that it would probably take some extra finessing to get her completely on board.

Her head popped up as the three of us entered the room. Her smile was tentative, wanting to be excited about seeing us, but knowing the truth behind of visit.

"Hey," she greeted us. Her eyes glanced down at my stomach and her smile broadened, making me wonder if Sunny wanted children. Her body was older than mine, seemingly around the age that most humans begin families.

She patted the spot on the mattress next to her and moved over a couple of inches to make room. As I sat next to her, Kyle sat himself down ungracefully on the floor against the wall while Ian opted for the piece of ground next to my feet.

"Listen," Sunny started, taking a minute to glance around the room at each of us. "I know what you all are here for, but I just don't know if I can do it. I didn't have enough time to digest the idea. I mean, you all leave tomorrow."

"I know," I told her, my voice understanding. "But you know there won't be anything to it. You know how trusting and good everyone is. If someone talks to you, just have a few aliases ready and be friendly. I promise it is the easiest thing ever."

She nodded, knowing I was right, but still looked unsure.

"You wouldn't even have to go out right away. You could stay with Kyle in the van until you got comfortable with being out. And I would always be with you in the stores."

She looked at me for a long moment, before glancing down to my round stomach. "Could I… help you pick out your crib?" she asked, a small smile flitting on her lips.

"Of course," I smiled back, hoping this meant she was leaning towards agreeing to go.

She looked over at Kyle and I followed her gaze. He wore an expression I had never seen, some mix of love and worry and nervousness. It took him a minute to get himself in check.

"Whatever you want," he told her finally. "I told you, I'm not pushing for one way or another."

She looked back at me before saying, "Okay."

Elated, I tried to wrap one arm around her and hug her, but our position and my stomach made it difficult. I heard a snort from across the room and looked to see Kyle standing from his spot on the floor.

"You're getting round," he said, surprising me with a teasing manner. Despite his acceptance of Sunny, and on some level the relationship I and his brother shared, he had never made an attempt to be anything more civil. This, however, seemed like something family would do.

I smiled.

Sunny, however, stood and smacked him on the arm. "Hey," she said, "you be nice. She is pregnant, and I'm sure miserable. She doesn't need any of your smart comments."

I opened my mouth to assure her that I didn't mind the teasing, but Ian beat me.

"Yeah, be considerate," he said, as he too gave Kyle a reprimand in the form of a punch to the other arm, which I was sure smarted a lot more than Sunny's soft slap.

"I was just messin' with her," Kyle said, his head glancing back and forth from Sunny to his brother.

"I don't mind," I was finally able to add my two cents, at which they all looked down to where I was sitting on the bed while they all stood.

"See?" Kyle said, his face animated.

"Just keep your thoughts about Wanda's size to yourself. I happen to think she looks beautiful. And that's my baby in there. Your niece or nephew," Ian spouted off.

"Hey… yeah! I'm gonna be Uncle Kyle, I didn't even think about that," he grinned.

Ian looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You mean, she has been pregnant for what, seven months, and you are just now realizing that?"

Kyle shrugged, his child-like grin still spread across his face. Ian shook his head.

"And you'll be an aunt," I reminded Sunny, but her expression told me she hadn't let that fact slip past her.

"I know," she beamed. I had a feeling once Baby O made his or her arrival, Sunny and Kyle would be having a serious talk.

*****

The next morning we all lined up to say goodbye, and I was uneasy.

Jared and Mel were having a meaningful and heartfelt goodbye in one corner, while Sunny wrung her hands nervously in another. Kyle was rubbing her back wordlessly. Ian was next to me, reneging on his promise to keep his worry from me as he took the opportunity to sigh loudly every other breath. He would also pace a few steps back and forth before realizing what he was doing and stopping, only to seconds later start up again. I knew he was harping on the fact that once we were out of the cave, we were on our own and more importantly, away from Doc. I decided to just let him have his space because listening to my reassurances had yet to help him.

When Jared pulled Jamie aside for some one on one, presumably about keeping Mel company and taking care of her for him, she walked up to me. Her hands reached my protruding belly as she spoke to Baby O first.

"Hey there, baby. You be good for mommy and daddy, alright? Preferably before your dad paces a hole in the floor." She gave Ian a wink as she rubbed my belly and looked up to me.

"Be careful," she told me before pulling me into a hug.

"We will," I assured her.

When she pulled away she turned and looked at Ian. "And you," she warned him, "you keep them all safe, you hear me?"

He nodded obediently.

Jamie ran over then, almost knocking me over in a hug. "Bye Wanda. Bye baby," he said sweetly.

"Take care of your sister," I told him, motioning to where she had wandered back over next to Jared.

"Yeah, I know," he said, ducking his head.

"Alright, let's head out," Jared announced, his voice flipped over to the serious one that would remain throughout the trip.

As the five of us filed forward, me bringing up the end, I rubbed my belly and stepped outside.

**Yeah. I know. A lot of waiting only to get a filler chapter. But I had to set up Sunny's agreement to go, plus I loved the four of them interacting and kind of getting to be like a normal family.**

**Let me know what ya thought, even if it was 'why am I still reading this?' ;)**


	23. Chapter 23

_Disclaimer: SM lives in the west, has sons, and owns the Host. I live in Indiana, half daughters, and own nothing. Get the picture?_

_A/N: So yay! Another one under the belt! Mediate89, girly girl, you are awesome. Not only did you beta this super fast, you made writing it and sharing bits and pieces so much more fun. What would I do without you?_

"Oh, look at this one!" Sunny exclaimed, holding up another outfit. She had said that exact phrase close to fifty times already, but surprisingly I didn't find it annoying. Instead I would look up every time with an "awwww."

I was sure we had been in the baby department store for over an hour and I knew the guys were bound to be at their wits end while waiting in car. I had tried to coax them all into the store, but not even Ian felt ready for such a daring outing; even when it was to pick things up for the baby.

In our cart were items for my baby as well as little Wes, whose chubby limbs filled out his clothes more and more everyday. Lily had given up trying to keep pants on him and settled for t-shirts and cloth diapers. She was sure to be ecstatic when she saw what we had gathered.

"I wish you knew what you were having," Sunny sighed wistfully as she placed another neutral looking set of pajamas in the cart. "It would be so much more fun."

"I'm actually happy not knowing," I told her as I examined a teething toy. "Besides, it doesn't matter to me anyhow. I just can't wait to meet him or her." I put the colorful toy in the cart.

"What about names? Do you have any picked out?"

"Nope. We have no clue. I figure we will know once we meet the baby," I said truthfully. Picking out a name before seeing Baby O's face just seemed wrong anyway. It was something I dreamed about, and often-- seeing my baby's face for the first time. Of course I never got to the naming portion of my dream, nor did it ever get around to the part where I was told whether it was a boy or girl, but it didn't matter. All that mattered at that point, even in my dreams, was that my baby was finally here, and that he/she was perfect.

Even though I could have spent an entire day searching through the various toys and clothing, I knew better. "I guess we better pick out that crib and get out of here before the guys pitch a fit."

She nodded excitedly and we turned toward the back of store where the furniture was kept. Jared was not going to be pleased at all at the space these items would take up, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

The back of the store was littered with cribs, dressers, rocking chairs (which I felt a strong desire for), lamps, changing tables and everything under this earth's sun that a baby could ever need. There were endless variations of bedding for the cribs, complete with youthful characters and soft colors. Furniture was available in many beautiful stains: some a rich, darker color, and others that were made of blonde wood and some painted with a glossy white exterior.

For a moment both Sunny and I stood dumbfounded. We had spent so much time looking at clothing and toys that we hadn't realized it had only been one half of the store. I walked up to the closest crib and ran a finger across the wooden rails that lined the sides.

"Look at how big these are. There is no way this will fit in our room."

"I know. Maybe they have something smaller," she suggested. We weaved through cribs and other furniture until we found a few bassinets along the back wall. There were only a few of those and only one main style and color, but they were perfect. Anything more complicated than these small, simple beds would have been lost to the drab of the cave walls anyway.

"Oh, how sweet," Sunny said as we looked at them. "Do you think we should get Lily one as well?"

I shook my head. "Wes would outgrow something this small in a matter of months. He's already eight months old. Plus, I think Lily likes having him to sleep with."

Sunny nodded her head once in understanding before I added, "Plus Jared is already going to flip his lid when we come out with all this stuff." We both giggled.

*

As predicted, when we exited the store with clothes, blankets, toys and a large box containing the bassinet, Jared's eyes threatened to pop from their sockets. I packed them into back of the van as efficiently as possible before climbing in myself. When the door was shut and I looked to the front two seats where Jared and Kyle were seated, I found them turned toward the back with slack faces.

"What all did you get?" Kyle asked finally, his voice full of disbelief.

"We had to get a little of everything. Babies need a lot" Sunny explained.

"Is there even anything left in the store?" he asked, eyeing the corner with our supplies.

"Yes, in fact there is. If you would like, we could go back in there and find some more stuff--"

"Absolutely not," Jared chimed in. "This little shopping trip is already going to cost us. We are going to have to go back to unload a lot sooner now."

"Jared," Ian said sternly, advising him not to criticize any further. He had been adamant the entire trip about anyone doing anything to cause any stress on me or the baby, stating he didn't want to tempt fate anymore than we had already. Stress had not set well with me in the beginning and he was afraid of what would happen this late in the pregnancy.

Jared rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath as he turned to start the van up.

Ian turned to me and patted his hand on my thigh a couple of times before squeezing it affectionately. Once we were in motion and Jared was sufficiently distracted, he asked, "Did you find everything you wanted?"

"Yes. I'm sorry it took so long, but you could not even imagine all the choices in there."

"I have an idea," he grinned at me. "Well, I'm glad you feel like you have everything you need." He looked at the supplies. "Is that the crib? In that box?" he asked.

"It is actually a bassinet. The cribs were too big," I told him.

"So it needs to be assembled then?" he asked.

A smile broke across my face. "Yes."

"I guess this one will have instructions, at least," he tried to hide his frown.

"We could always have someone help," I offered, biting back the laughter that came with the memory of his attempt at the homemade crib.

"No," he said suddenly, looking to me. "I want to do it." He was practically pouting.

"Whatever you want," I told him, a small smile still etched in my expression.

He only nudged me softly with his shoulder in return.

Not ten minutes later he had pulled everything from its neatly packed confines and was examining everything with wide-eyed amusement.

"I can't believe how tiny all this stuff is!" he marveled. "I mean, look at this." He held up a yellow one-piece outfit with small ducks lining the front. Sunny giggled and took the items he was going through in an attempt to put everything back up.

"Dude, you sound like a chick back there. Take it down a notch," Kyle said from the front seat without turning around.

"Just wait, you'll see," Ian answered him, only half paying attention as he pulled out a stuffed animal that had a rattle inside of it.

"Wait, what? What is supposed to mean?" Kyle suddenly turned around.

"It means, when you are about to become a dad, you will feel different," Ian answered him.

Kyle's mouth hung open for a few seconds, unsure of how to respond.

Ian was already oblivious again, his hands digging through more bags. I chanced a look at Sunny, who kept trying to clean up after him. She kept her face emotionless.

"Sunny?" I asked softly, trying to get her attention. She looked up slowly. "He'll come around."

She nodded and gave me a knowing smile, and then busied herself again.

*

"Jared?" I called up to the front as sweetly as I could. He was going to kill me.

He groaned loudly. "Again? Really, Wanda?"

I blushed and looked down even though he probably couldn't see me.

"Quit complaining and just pull over," Ian growled from beside me.

"Fine," he grumbled and started to make his way over to the right lane to take the next exit.

I was sitting Indian style, my legs bouncing rapidly in order to distract from the need to go... _again_. Jared was probably ready to leave me roadside, Mel's fury be damned.

I watched signs as we rode, deciding what I would eat when we stopped. My cravings had been all over the place as of late, and I never ceased to gross out at least one person in the van.

A sign offering po' boy sandwiches caught my eye just as I felt Jared pull the van to the left to exit.

"Wait! Take the next one!" I yelled, making him jerk back onto the road.

"What? Why?" he asked loudly while he straightened from the swerve.

"They have po' boys," I said, suddenly feeling bad about being so dramatic about it.

"Jeez, Wanda. I thought you saw something. Or someone," Jared said, taking a steadying breath.

"Sorry," I mumbled, to which Ian rubbed my back.

"Hey, it's alright. Whatever Baby O wants, Baby O gets," he teased before leaning over and kissing the side of my head.

Later it was Ian that gagged at my fried fish po' boy, slathered in coleslaw and onions.

*

We had been on the road for two weeks when Sunny finally decided to try going out by herself. I was surprised by her eagerness to do so, but we all welcomed it-- except Kyle. He verbally tripped all over himself in an effort to assure her that it was okay to wait, or not do it at all.

I was hit suddenly with his similarity to Ian going beyond only physical features. They were both overly anxious when it came to their loved ones.

"Kyle," she said as she got ready to step out of the van, "This was the whole point of my coming along. Someone has to do this when Wanda can't."

Without waiting for him to find another excuse she hopped out of the vehicle and closed the door behind her. I was more than relieved to know that we could depend on her in my absence, which also eased my conscious somewhat. In no way did I resent my baby, but the main problem plaguing my pregnancy had been worrying about what the others would do when I was out of commission.

Sunny was a blessing.

She appeared not forty minutes later with groceries in hand, and a large, accomplished smile on her face. I observed all three guys next to me smiling as well, even though each of their smiles were for different reasons. Ian's was relief that my burden was lifted; never again would I be able to claim that I was the only one who could go on raids to get supplies or argue my sole importance to our living system.

Jared wore a similar smile of relief too, although his was in acknowledgement that everyone back home had another person to rely on. He would now have two people to use in any missions he could scheme up.

And Kyle was just plain proud. He was watching the Soul/Host before him with love and amazement and while I knew that Sunny would never replace Jodi in his heart, she had made her own place.

My smile was a mixture of all three.

_Sooooooooooooooooo……………._

_We have like, oh, idk, one more chapter before baby O comes in all his/her screaming glory! Any guesses on the sex? Name suggestions? (well, let's say middle name suggestions, cuz I promised my beta naming rights)._

_Leave me some love! (and predictions!)_


	24. Chapter 24

_Disclaimer: SM still owns. I still don't. _

_A/N: Another one! Yay, right? _

_Mediate89, you are the Mel to my Wanda, chicky. I seriously don't think I would have made it this far without you and your excitement for the story. You are an amazing beta and muse._

"Bleh," I groaned from my position, which was lying prone in the back of the van. There was hardly any room since we only had one more stop before heading back home for good. I was sick and tired of the van and was more than grateful at the thought of Sunny taking my position for a while.

"What's wrong?" Ian asked as I felt his hand come up to brush my wild hair back from my face again. My head had been in his lap for the last hour or so and he had been switching between running his hand over my hair and tracing the outside of my ear. Both were extremely relaxing.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that butter pecan ice cream I ate earlier, I think."

"Actually, it was probably the spicy French fries you were _dipping_ in the butter pecan ice cream earlier," Ian smirked while I heard Sunny groan at the memory.

"Whichever, it isn't setting good," I whined and rubbed my big belly. I couldn't believe it was only five weeks until Baby O would finally be in my arms instead of in my belly. It was bittersweet to think of really, because despite all of my complaints, I loved the idea of nourishing my baby in a way that only I could. At the same time, however, I wanted nothing more than to meet my baby.

"I bet they make something for that, like, 'Tummy Ease' or 'Preggo Pudge Relief,'" Kyle snickered at himself from the front.

Ian made a face at his brother but I laughed along with him in agreement. I'm sure the Souls probably had just the thing for something like this.

"We had something too, ya know," Kyle went on. "It was called 'Tums.'" He paused to consider that for a moment before adding, "Now that I think about it, it's no better than the names you all come up with," he chuckled.

Ian seemed to relax a bit and switched back to outlining the shell of my ear.

I had become thankful for this trip for many reasons, the main one being it would probably be my last for a while and I was appreciating the scenery. I would sincerely miss the flat brown of the outside, rocky formations in the distance cutting shapes into the sky, and driving past it all speedily in the van. Watching the different colors the sunsets made; they seemed unique every time. The warmth of the sun on my face and arms, sometimes even while I was buried in the back of the vehicle. It was all something I loved and would miss, even though I would instantly give it up for Baby O.

I was also grateful that I had the opportunity to bond with Kyle and Sunny somewhat. Even though Ian and I weren't married in the human sense of the term, we were internally and eternally bound to one another. No paper could make it any more or less official. In that respect, Kyle and Sunny were my family. It was important to become close and share love, laughter and trials with each other. And even though Ian still bristled when Kyle made a joke at my expense, I knew he was starting to warm up to the idea that we were all becoming closer.

"Alright, guys," Jared announced from the driver's seat. "We are stopping for the night here. We're still about two days from home but I can't keep my eyes open anymore." I watched as the van was flooded with artificial light from parking lot lamps until Jared brought it to a stop.

"I got it," Sunny said as she jumped up and toward the doors. She had become more and more comfortable during the trip and frequently asked to go out on her own. I agreed eagerly, more than happy to spend my time on my rear end and off my slightly swollen ankles.

Sunny came back in a flash holding keys for three rooms for the night, all adjacent and all opening into one another's. It was something we always tried to do where we could, just for emergencies.

I climbed slowly out of the van and waddled into our room with Ian at my side. On his other side he carried our bags, one of which I knew held a few snacks. Already my stomach had forgiven my mixture of spicy and sweet and was ready for something else.

I rolled eyes, thinking of all the weight I had gained, especially in the last month or so. But my book promised that the weight put on in the last stretch gave the baby weight, so I pushed the worry far from my mind. It wasn't like I had a chance at ignoring my cravings anyhow.

I went to the bathroom first to relieve baby O's squeeze toy before crashing on the big comfortable bed. The huge beds with blankets to spare would definitely be one of the things I missed when quarantined to the caves in less than a week.

As I was pondering which snack I wanted from my goodie bag, my stomach decided to become upset again, making everything I knew to be available in there seem repulsive.

"Ian? Would you mind terribly to get me a glass of water?" I hated to ask him to get me everything, but it was better than trying to do it myself only to be forced back down while he did it anyway.

"Coming right up," Ian promised, grabbing the pitcher provided by the hotel. "I'll just go get some ice," he said and snuck outside of the door.

He came back moments later and I had a glass of ice water in my hand. I sat up and scooted back against the headrest while Ian stuck pillows behind me. With my head and chest propped up, I took a drink while rubbing my upset belly.

"Everything okay?" Ian asked, watching my hand as it rubbed circles and then glancing up at my face.

"Yeah, I just need to cut back on the crazy food combos," I grinned.

"That would benefit everyone, including you," Ian smiled, his icy eyes sparkling.

"I wonder," I said, watching the light from my bedside lamp highlight his beautiful blue eyes, "If Baby O has your eyes."

"No," he smiled and shook his head. "I love the color of yours. They would be perfect, just enough grayish-silver to show that he or she is part _you_." He stressed the last word, wanting to emphasize that it would be more than just my body the baby belonged to.

"But I couldn't imagine a more beautiful blue than this," I said, reaching up and sweeping my thumb under his left eye.

He turned his head and kissed my hand sweetly before leaning down and planting another on my lips. I let my hand drift across his sandpaper cheeks, keeping him close to me.

"I love you," I said softly, gazing at the blue that had conquered my heart, my Soul.

"I love you, too, Wanderer."

I stared at him a second longer before my stomach growling interrupted us, and we both laughed.

"I think my stomachache has passed," I giggled.

"I guess that means you will need your bag?" he said, still smiling as he stood before even needing an answer from me.

He sat the bag between us and unzipped it, letting me rummage through. It was funny how usually the first thing I saw was what I ended up wanting.

"Cheetos!" I said happily, pulling them out. "And donut sticks!" My mouth was watering as I opened both the packets.

Ian laughed and glanced at the clock on the wall. "T-minus 20 minutes before the next bellyache."

*

The next morning I showered, then added it to my list of things I would miss about being out on raids. There was just something about a showerhead and bathroom lights that made the experience so much better.

It was while I was finishing up my hair ritual of adding detangling products and picking furiously that I heard the front door shut with a little more force than was completely necessary. I paused and peeked out of the bathroom to see that Ian had just come in.

"What's wrong?" I asked as he paced slightly in front of the door.

Looking up and realizing for the first time that he had alerted me, he started in my direction.

"Jared just tried to get the van started up and it won't turn over," he ran both of his hands over his face. "He and Kyle are both out there looking at it now, but they don't think it is something they can fix. They think it may need a new part."

"So Sunny and I will take it to a mechanic. It's alright, we will get it taken care of," I rubbed my hand up and down his arm, trying to comfort him.

He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "You're right, we just need to calm down and get to business." He turned and headed toward the door. "I'll start unloading everything; we can't have all those supplies in the back if a mechanic is going to have it," he called over his shoulder before going back out the door.

I sighed and returned to the never ending battle with my hair.

When Ian returned an hour later, he looked… frazzled.

"We got everything out and Sunny called for a tow," he said, falling on the bed beside me. "She gave them the number to her room, so whenever they call to say it's done she and Kyle will come get us."

"Sounds good," I said, trying to be encouraging. I turned on my side to face him, my belly tumbling after me, then reached and stroked his arm soothingly.

We both laid there and ended up falling asleep, taking a nice, relaxing afternoon nap.

_Another thing I will miss: spontaneous naps_, I thought as I drifted off.

*

The shrill ring of the phone woke us some time later, shortly followed by a very angry sound that erupted from my belly. I had only nibbled on a little muffin for breakfast and now my stomach was more than just a little annoyed.

Ian went for the phone while my eyes darted around the room for my snack bag. I would have to have something more than a snack, and soon, but I definitely had to have something immediately. I didn't dare anger my stomach.

"Hello?" Ian answered the phone, his voice still thick with sleep. There was a long silence while I found and routed through the bag, wondering where my Oreos were.

"WHAT?!" Ian's voice yelled into the receiver, followed by him suddenly standing up. "What do you mean four days?!"

There was another moment of silence, finally followed by Ian sitting back down. He grumbled a "fine" and an "okay" into the phone before hanging it up. He propped his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands before letting out a big sigh.

I gave him a moment to collect himself before saying anything, but my belly would not allow be to leave the foil that covered my cookies alone. I ungracefully made an abundance of noise as I pried the Oreos from their wrapping and then cringed as they crunched loudly when I bit into them.

After finishing my first cookie, I finally had to know. "What is it?" I had figured out it would be four days before we got the van back, but I didn't know why. I shoved another cookie in.

Ian spoke without lifting his head. "They need a part for the van that they don't have, mainly because the thing is older." I nodded, knowing how all Souls were given new cars, as safety and reliability was not something that we gambled with. "They had to call around and find the part, said we were lucky they found one at all. Anyway, it is in Missouri and we have to wait for it to be shipped out here. It will be four days before they even get it in."

I didn't reply, and after a minute or so he finally raised his head and turned toward me. "I hate being stranded here, no way to get around. Not to mention we were running a few days late anyway. And I don't know--"

"Ian," I stopped him, knowing that this list could and would go on forever. "There isn't anything we can do about it, just hope that everything works out. And it will," I promised.

But I was wrong.

Five days later, the part came in.

Five days later, my water broke.

_Soooooooooooooooo……………………………………………………………………._

_Guess what is next people! Get excited! ;) Baby O is finally making his or her appearance!_

_First, let me know what ya thought about this one, though! Review! Did you like Kyle and his goofy teasing? Did you hate the FLUFF that I went a little over board on? Or the other way around? Gotta let me know these things…_

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	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer stills owns the Host and its characters, but I own Baby O!**

**A/N: So, yeah, 'bout friggin time. You guys should be used to waiting on my pokey rear-end by now!**

**This chapter is dedicated to my beta, mediate89. Dudes, if it weren't for her, this story wouldn't be half of what it is. Not to mention she has been beggin for this chapter since she became my sidekick!**

**Alright, onward!**

My stomach, never satisfied, woke me from a late afternoon nap in the hotel room with an angry growl, only to follow it with a painful, clenching feeling. I winced and rolled over. Ian was sitting up against the headboard and watching television so low I wondered how he could hear it.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" he asked, holding the remote in his hand as if to turn the volume down even lower.

"No, no. Just another stomachache. They have been torturing me all day," I said, struggling to sit up.

"Do you need anything? Something to eat?"

"No, strangely enough I'm not hungry," I giggled. "I've been in bed all day, I think I'll get up and take a shower, get my blood flowing." I started scooting to the edge of the bed.

When my feet finally got planted and Ian started turning up the volume on the TV, the phone rang. He sighed and turned it back down quickly, and I halted temporarily in case whoever was on the phone needed something from me.

"Hello?" Ian answered into the receiver of the hotel phone.

I watched his face, trying to get a handle on what the conversation was about. He was quiet for a few seconds, during which my stomach started another one of its protests against me. I brought a hand up to rub it soothingly, but knew nothing would really abate it.

Suddenly, Ian's shout filled the air. "Really? Everything is in? When will it be ready?"

I realized he was talking to Jared and the parts for the van were finally in. I sighed in relief; anxious to be home.

"Tomorrow?" he asked.

My stomach, which never really unclenched the first time, clenched again. This time it caused a short, involuntary gasp and my other hand shot to my stomach as well. Ian's eyes darted to mine, narrowing in a silent question. Just as I was about to give him a shrug and dismissing wave, yet another pulling sensation spread around my plump belly. I looked down at it, as if I would be able to see an external source for the commotion.

Then, four things happened almost simultaneously.

Another twinge flitted through my stomach, liquid slid down my leg, I gasped in overdue acknowledgement, and lastly the phone in Ian's hands dropped to floor as he stood suddenly and made his way to where I was standing at the foot of the bed.

My mouth opened to tell Ian what I was sure he already knew, to tell him Baby O was coming, to tell him we were too late, to tell him how terrified I was, but all that came out was a strangled, gasping cry.

"Wanda? Are you alright? You need to lie down." He was all around me, his hands holding me and ushering me to the bed at the same time. "I'm going to go get towels," he told me, as he was helping me onto my back on the bed.

"No! Ian, please," I whimpered, grabbing his hand with mine with every ounce of strength I had. "Stay."

"Wanderer, I'm not going anywhere. I do have to get towels, though."

I swallowed, nodded and then slowly loosened my grip. He waited until I had completely released him before he broke away and practically ran to the bathroom. I could hear him knocking items over as he tried to be as fast as possible. I almost forgot the circumstances and smiled at him and his excitement, but not before I was hit with another pulling and tightening of my entire stomach. It was stronger than before.

_Contractions_, I realized.

Ian appeared from the restroom, his arms full of towels, when a furious pounding on the door alerted both of us behind him. It was the internal door, the one we shared with Kyle and Sunny's room. However, it was Jared's voice we heard from behind it.

"Ian? Wanda?" he shouted between his loud fist banging.

Ian and I both glanced to the phone that had fallen to the floor when everything was set into action. Jared had still been on the other line and knew something was wrong.

Ian huffed and dropped the towels on the bed next to me and turned toward the door. He placed a strategic foot inches away from it to keep it from being opened all the way before cracking it slightly.

Jared was shouting into the room before Ian could even offer his explanation.

"Wanda? Are you alright?" he yelled trying to push past Ian.

I started to tell him I was, but Ian gave the door a push and knocked Jared away from it momentarily.

"We're ok, Jared, but I think Wanda has gone into labor." His voice was so calm and collected that it took me by surprise, as if this happened everyday.

"Oh my god, really?!" I heard Sunny say from deep in the next room. I heard shuffling before Ian was suddenly blocking her from entering. "Wanda, are you okay?"

"Yes," I tried to assure her, but my voice broke slightly. Then another contraction hit me and I made a small, pathetic moan.

"Wanda?" she called out in concern. I looked over at Ian holding his ground, looking every bit the part of a bouncer.

"Ian, let me in," she said, her nose shoved as far inside the door as she could get. "You can't do this by yourself."

I could see Sunny's words weighing on Ian, who eventually looked over to me. I shrugged, I didn't really mind if Sunny was in here. And like she said, Ian would need help.

Ian removed his foot and stepped back to let her in and she rushed to my side. I saw Ian make quick work of moving the door back within inches of its frame before either of the guys could get in.

Sunny busily started folding towels and placing them underneath me, before placing some off to the side while Jared and Ian bickered about who should be in the room.

"Ian, let me in."

"No. Sunny and I can handle things. Why don't you go get the supplies?" Ian said evenly.

Jared made an aggravated throat noise and finally moved away, letting Ian close the door completely.

"Hey!" Ian said as he came over to where Sunny was quickly setting various things up around me. "Jodi was a nurse!"

Sunny smiled and nodded. "Yeah, she was. She worked in ICU, though, not OB."

"But you have some idea on what to do, right?" Just a touch of panic leaked into Ian's voice.

"Yeah. She did a Labor and Delivery round in school. I remember the basics."

Ian's shoulders visibly relaxed as the burden he was trying to bear suddenly lightened.

I winced again as another contraction went through me, more intense… and longer. By the time it was over I was panting.

"Ian," Sunny turned toward him. "You stay here and start timing the contractions. I am going to go get all the other towels from the other rooms and a see who has the supplies. Do you have any ice in here?"

Ian nodded and looked over to the desk in the corner of the room. Sunny measured out a cupful and handed it to me.

"Chew on the ice," she instructed, which I immediately started to do. The icy chips felt wonderful on my throat and the loud crunching distracted me from the flutters in my stomach. "I'll be right back."

She left through the inner room door and closed it behind her. I looked to Ian who was kneeling beside me, his expression indescribable. Emotions were dancing across his face in a reel-like fashion, from fear to joy to panic to resoluteness. I gave him a shaky smile.

"I'm so sorry," was all I could say. His face quickly drew up into confusion.

"For what?"

"I pushed for the trip." I looked down and shook my head at my ignorance. "I shouldn't have come."

"Hey," Ian said sweetly, his hand coming under my chin and raising my face to meet his. "No one could've known this was going to happen. Plus, like you said, you were needed. I bet that even if you knew this was going to happen before hand you still would have insisted on going."

A small smile formed on my lips, knowing he was right. It didn't change the fact that I was sorry that my stubbornness was causing all of this stress on him and everyone here.

I felt the beginnings of another contraction stir and made a face, alerting Ian who made a note of the time. He held my hand throughout the contraction, the worst yet. I knew from my books that they would keep growing in intensity as the labor progressed, but each time it still took me by surprise.

I was proud when I didn't yelp from the pain, although Ian's hand took the brunt of it.

When my hand finally went limp around his, he brought it to his mouth and kissed it sweetly. "Sunny should be back soon with the medicines, and then you can just relax through the rest of this."

I nodded and laid my head back and closed my eyes just as Sunny knocked and called out from the door. Ian got up and opened it for her and she came in with a mountain of towels. She placed them on the floor next to my bed and then looked at me nervously.

"There's a problem."

"What?" Ian and I asked at the same time.

"All of the medical supplies are in the van," she said in a low exhale.

"What?!" Ian asked, incredulous. "Why are they in the van?"

All my breath left me as I realized that I was going to be doing this all natural. I only had vague memories from Mel of what all that could entail, but none of it seemed like the way I would want to go.

"Kyle thought Jared had gotten them, and Jared thought you had gotten them…" she explained apologetically.

"So we don't have anything to give her?" Ian practically yelled, his hands flying out and then slapping back against his thighs loudly.

Sunny shook her head slowly and reached down to hold my hand that lay on the bed closest to her. "I'm sorry," she whispered softly to me.

I was about to relieve her consciousness, especially since none of it was her fault, when my stomach tightened again. My chin automatically went to my chest as I winced, and suddenly Ian was on the other side with my other hand. I squeezed both of their hands as I rode out the contraction.

When it finally relented, I noticed Sunny glance at the clock from the corner of my eye.

"How far apart are they?" she asked Ian.

"About every four or five minutes," he answered, which seemed ridiculous to me. How many more of these did I have to suffer through?

Four hours later, I knew my answer.

Hundreds. No, thousands.

Sunny checked my cervix, which had been horrible for everyone involved, and let me know that I should probably start trying to push.

And that was when my panic set in.

"Oh my god, already?" I asked, even though I had been at it for hours. "I don't think it's time yet." I shook my head adamantly.

"Wanda, it's okay. We'll start with some practice pushes. They won't even count." Jodi had made Sunny an amazing nurse. I briefly wondered what her calling had been.

Ian rubbed the washcloth that had once been cold but was now warm and not comforting at all against my forehead again.

"Wanderer, don't let this get the best of you now. You have come so far, and done this all on your own. All your way. You can do this."

"No, I've had you, and Mel, and Doc. I want Doc," I cried.

"Wanda, you don't need anyone. No one but you can do this next part. Now, when your next contraction comes, which should be any second, I need you to do the practice push." Sunny was on the verge of scolding.

As the words left her mouth I felt the tale tell signs of the pending contraction. I gritted my teeth, pushed my chin against my chest and gave it my all.

"Great, Wanda," Sunny said, even though she really had no way of knowing how well I was doing. I was still draped in sheets and she was at my side. "…five, four, three, two, one. Okay, relax."

I fell back against the bed and let out the gust of air that had been pent up inside me. Ian got up and went to the sink to rewet my rag while Sunny pet my arm on her side.

"How much more of this do I have to do?" I asked, very afraid of the answer.

Sunny watched her hand as it moved across my arm. "It varies. Most first pregnancies take about thirty to forty minutes of pushing."

"What?" I screeched. "I can't do it that long!"

"I know it seems daunting, but I promise you can. Just think, in less than an hour, your baby will be in your arms."

And that was all the encouragement I needed.

Thirty-four minutes later, with Sunny yelling at me to push harder and Ian with silent tears streaming steadily down his face, our child was born.

The moment was surreal. Ian had stepped into the catching position when the time came and delivered.

"It's a little girl," he said, his voice cracking just a little. I watched him hold her in amazement, as he watched her in amazement, both of us in silent awe of her.

Baby O.

She was hideous. She was bluish-pink and covered with blood and a thick white substance. An abundance of inky black hair was matted to her head and she was screaming like a banshee.

And she was perfect.

Ian finally handed her to me. It felt weird to have her outside my body, but it felt right. This was where she should be.

Ian walked up and kissed my forehead, then our little baby's. The moment was perfect, like right out of one of the old love stories.

***

The next day, while Jared, Kyle and Sunny had gone to pick up the van, I took a much needed nap. Baby O had allowed me very little sleep with her demanding feedings every few hours. And even though Ian had had little if any more sleep than me, he insisted that I rest and wrestled the baby from my arms.

I fell asleep almost instantly.

My eyes opened sometime later to see Ian holding our precious baby girl in the chair by the front window. She was nestled in his arms, wrapped in one of the blankets from my trip in the baby store. I adjusted my position carefully. I was still sore from the birth and according to Sunny I would be for a while. Ian heard my movements and turned toward me.

"Hey. Feeling any better?" he asked, his voice low.

"Yeah, thanks. Has she not been hungry?"

"No, I think she wore herself out nursing all night long," he answered with a smile.

I smiled back, loving my view of the two of them. Ian was so content, so happy.

"You know what I've been thinking about?" he asked after a few minutes.

"What?"

"Do you remember that day, back when you were still in Mel - when you, Jared and I were in the hotel? We were looking out the window at the mixed family playing in the park."

I nodded, even though Ian's eyes were gazing out the window, seeing the scene he described.

"When we asked about that family, about what we were looking at, you said 'hope'. Hope that our species could co-exist."

He looked from the window to Baby O, sleeping peacefully in his arms. "I think that is her name. Hope."

My heart felt so full as it pumped hard in my chest. It was absolutely her name.

"Hope Melanie O'Shea," I said, testing out the name.

Ian looked at me with one of his biggest grins. "Perfect."

**Alright, altogether now…. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!**

**Thanks again to mediate89, cuz the whole name and reason behind it was her idea, and you gotta admit, it was perfect! **

**On a slightly more mellow note, I am thinking there is only about two or three more chapters left, with an epilog. I have been discussing a sequel with my beta that would be more of a co-write, but it all depends. **

**In the meantime, let me know what ya thought of this one!**


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